$520 A Day......

That's it.  That's the number that will get us to our little boy.  $14,561.  We are so close now, and I can almost see him back in his bedroom, with all his favorite things tucked under his pillow.  I can hear his laughter, see the joy in his face as Bill lifts him up to touch the ceiling before bed.  Hear him laughing and singing with Mason.  I can practically feel his bedtime hugs, smell the salty sweatiness of his head in my lap the night he cried and cried because he knew it was time to leave. 

I can picture him in the waves at the ocean, never wanting to come to shore....his excitement over being able to brush his teeth, bleeding gums and all.  His joy at being able to take a bubble bath until his fingers wrinkled like prunes.  I remember him shopping for new shoes, so excited at the selection...and just cracking up at the little tiny baby shoes. 

I think about the time we'll have in Ukraine...time to share God's love, and invest in the children of the orphanage.  Time to see Ruslan's home, his "family" and the only history he has known.  I am so grateful for this opportunity to step in to his world.  So grateful to get photos of where he came from, to start recording his history and building his future.  So bittersweet to be bringing him home to a loving family, yet taking him from the only "family" he's ever known.  To walk out with just him...leaving those other little ones behind....just having to trust that God loves them, and has an amazing plan for each of them...and praying that our short time there has some kind of long term impact for them, planting a small seed of hope that they can hold on to. 

We are just in awe, honestly.  We brainstorm how we can ever repay the mind boggling generosity that has been shown.  How we can ever fully communicate our gratitude for the community of people locally, nationally and globally that have been rallying with us for a little boy who deserves a family.  Thank you seems so inadequate.  We are watching this miracle unfold, and it is simply overwhelming to see what the Lord is doing in the lives of two broken people who just want to be obedient, love this orphan child, share with him about a God who loves him and bring their son home.

Do we deserve this blessing? Some would argue not.  Are we the most qualified parents? I can say assuredly not.  But I know this....I look back over experiences, interactions, situations...and I see His hand in it all.  The amazing craftsmanship that has been taking place....the intentional way he placed this exact child in our lives...the people He has brought us in to fellowship and conversation with, the provision and faithfulness He has shown, the way he has stretched and grown us in our faith, the way we must constantly surrender to Him...and surrender again...and again!  (Thanks for that imagery, Shelly!)

I know that just 8 months ago, we were telling Him no...the Holy Spirit placed a stirring in our hearts, and we tried to ignore it.  Tried to walk....no run....away.  Tried to justify why we couldn't, why we shouldn't....but I know this.  Had we walked away...had we walked by sight and only paid attention to the numbers on paper...had we not stepped out in faith, and decided many times along the way to get out of the way and give it to God.....we would not be here....cleaning out a spare room....researching flight costs.....looking for a Russian children's Bible....preparing our hearts and our home to bring this little boy...truly alone in this world...home to his forever family.  And we would have missed out on what God had for us, on what He had in mind for Ruslan, and on this amazing story...a true testimony that with God, all things are possible.

Please Help Ruslan "Bid" Farewell To The Orphanage!

Please take a moment to check out our online auction, and help us bring Ruslan home.  Spread the word with friends and family too! www.32auctions.com/hope4ruslan

Fundraiser Success

Wow! What a week! Our Race for Ruslan (see Bill and Mason gearing up for the race in the photo above!) fundraiser brought in $500, our Monkey Joe's night totals aren't in yet but we are expecting around $100 and our Flashlight Egg Hunt brought in $594.....so thankful for that provision this week, and for the gains we are making to meet our final goal.  Travel time is just around the corner (mid-late May) and we wouldn't be this far without the help, love and support of an amazing community rallying for Ruslan.  We have a long way to go still, but we know our God is faithful, and the village that has rallied around us is going to help us keep fighting! Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

Reflections

You're welcome in advance for my random ramblings and musical links for your entertainment! What can I say, it's late!  We received word today that our dossier was submitted.  We have done all we can do now on the American side of things.  We should hear about our travel date in about a month...and we'll be traveling a few weeks after that.

With so many unknowns and variables (some families have received as little as 12 days notice to travel!) I can't help but be a little anxious! And I work hard at squelching that nagging voice that reminds me that it's just money that is standing in the way now.  We have lots of fundraising left to do, and still need to finalize plans for where Mason will stay while we are gone.  I can't even begin to think about the details of packing, and then there are all the unknowns we will encounter while in Ukraine, including the outcome of the court hearing.  Thankfully, God is in the details. 

For the last two weeks, my father's cancer surgery, hospitalization, and worsening Parkinson's disease have had me travelling in and out of state (to South Carolina) and very emotional.  He is frustrated, upset and so sad....and at only 60, he feels he has lost his life as he knows it.  There is some family drama along with the situation (a la Jerry Springer!) and I am truly exhausted.  The thank you notes to supporters that I was writing were put on hold...the progress in packaging our fundraising CD's was put on hold...I haven't returned a single one of our facilitator's e-mails...Facebook messages, phone calls and e-mails have gone unreturned.  And here I am sleepless at 2am! (Becky Radzinski...I know you feel my pain! It seems the only time blogging is a possibility is the middle of the night!)

I looked back at some paperwork this week, and I realized that we signed our adoption agreement on the exact six year anniversary of my mother's death.  I find that interesting because she passed away on the very day that we learned we were pregnant with Mason (within hours actually).  And then the day we officially decide to bring another child into our family, is the anniversary of her passing.  We didn't even realize it at the time, but looking back it is a poignant observation.  We have always maintained that she is Mason's guardian angel, and we know she'll be watching over Ruslan too! If she were here, she would be overjoyed at this journey we are on...she had a heart for the Lord and a heart for children that is simply unsurpassed!

I have a new found respect for families that tackle the uphill journey of adoption.  I have a blossoming and growing faith in a God that provides and is good, no matter what.  I have an unparalleled gratitude for friends and strangers that come together, not only with monetary support, but with moral support.  And I am just simply so humbled to be part of the amazing and awesome plan that is unfolding for this little boy, a world away.  I pray that through the trials and losses I face with my own parents, I can somehow have a heart that is even more empathetic to a little boy who has been feeling that loss since the first day he was born.  That remembering this little boy would give anything to have a family to argue with puts any family disagreements in perspective.  That I remember this journey (both adoption and life!) is not meant to be taken on in my own strength.  That I can rest in Him and know that He has a plan.  I just need to get out of the way and listen for it!

I am so grateful for a husband that is my best friend, an amazing father, and solid as a rock for me and our family.  I am so proud to know that Mason and Ruslan have a good and Godly man to look up to, and I am grateful beyond measure that our paths converged.  At the risk of going a little too country (Rascall Flats!) it is no cliche to say that God truly blessed the broken road that led me straight to him! And come to think of it, God blessed the broken road that led Ruslan straight to us too! It is so amazing how He makes beautiful things out of the dust.

A year ago, I couldn't have predicted this crazy journey that I am on today.  But I am grateful for the lessons, the learning, the love, the laughter and even the tears....they are all shaping, growing and changing me and they are all pointing me back to a great God who is with me every step of the way.  I read a quote I love today..."Remember, not knowing how it's all going to turn out is a GOOD thing...It gives life the chance to take your breath away!"

Flashlight Adult Egg Hunt Fundraiser

Friday, April 6th at 7:30pm we are having an adult (16 and up) flashlight egg hunt.  Bring your flashlight and an easter basket/bag and hunt for eggs...maybe you'll be lucky enough to find the eggs with the $50 restaurant gift cards in them.  Save some time for s'mores by the fire pit! We hope to see you there! Spread the word and tell family and friends!

4021 Gumleaf Drive Apex NC 27539

 

In The Mail Today....

"And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus." ~Philippians 4:19

That was on the envelope of a very generous check that came today...from a family in Utah. That scripture is so poignant...so meaningful...and so well timed! We got that just minutes after we received word from a local newspaper that they are willing to help us tell Ruslan's story.....just moments after we finished compiling a grant application to go out tomorrow.

All this comes just days after we made the bold decision to move forward with submitting our dossier. We missed our first submission date on February 22nd because we decided to hold off. I wish I could say it was because we felt the Lord telling us to wait, or we were standing for something big, or anything other than what it was. Fear.  Plain and simple.  We were holding back because we were afraid.  Because we didn't have every last dollar in our hands. Because we couldn't control the situation.  So we held on, and we held out.  And we thought, and we prayed, and we realized we were really just holding out on what the Lord might have for us, and for Ruslan. That if we didn't fully trust him, he wouldn't continue to bless this journey as he has so far.  So we decided, as we did 7 months ago, to relinquish that control.  To trust in Him.  To step out, again, in faith.  We were in prayer that the Lord would honor our decision to press forward...to trust Him.  It seems tonight that he has done exactly that. We are so thankful for these "winks" from God that keep us pressing on, that tell us we are on the right path, that help us listen even closer for what He would have next for us.  The Lord honors obedience, and we are thankful for those that continually challenge us to be bold for Him...to trust in Him....to walk by faith and not by sight....

Turns out, the family that sent the check from Utah is friends with a local family that has also been helping us fundraise by hosting an online Thirty-One party.  Also, they are a family that used to attend our church, and their two children used to be in the class that I coached.  So neat to be reconnected with them.  And the connections just keep coming!  What is it they say? Six degrees of separation?  We keep coming across these amazing connections, stories, relationships, etc. along the way.  I just sit at the feet of the Lord, humbled by His greatness and provision, and so thankful to be a part of His plan for Ruslan. 

Thank you to those who have boldly shared our story with others.  Without you, we wouldn't be able to reach out and have the ripple effect we need to make major waves in our final efforts to bring Ruslan home. I think sometimes people hear "fundraiser" and they think of massive events, with hours of planning, and huge budgets.  But, a young girl and her beads...a group of siblings and their piggy banks....some sweet children at a yard sale....our own son with his lemonade stand...have all made significant contributions to our efforts.  It doesn't take much!  All those small efforts add up in a huge way, and we are so thankful to those of you who are thinking outside the box to partner with us to bring Ruslan home! 

We pray that when we meet with the newspaper on Thursday, we are able to be bold as we tell Ruslan's story.  That they decide to run the story, and it reaches people and touches hearts.  We are so thankful for the opportunity to get the word out.  And we are so tremendously humbled by the continued support.  What an AMAZING story we will have to tell this little boy, and what a tremendous affirmation that will be to his wounded, wilted soul.  Praise be to God!

First click here to learn more about Depraved Indifference......powerful video, right?  We suffer from it....and Ruslan has long been a victim of it.  We have a son....in an Orphanage in Ukraine....and we're calling every friend we know....and we're asking for your help to get to him....because if we're not doing it, no one else is.  We're willing....to get on a plane and go to him. 

Watching that video leaves my eyes wet with tears.  I am convicted, guilty of depraved indifference myself.  There was even a point in my life that I wondered..."Why would we help people a million miles away when there are people right here who need help."   But then the Lord broke our hearts for these children...He placed a stirring in our hearts to make a difference....  We are His hands and feet.

There's a girl named Landyn, who came from the same orphanage Ruslan is in.  She is home now, with her forever family.  Depraved indifference is not an option for her.  Her friends are there....for a season of her life that was the only home she knew.  She has rallied for Ruslan, making keychains and jewelry, and she managed to make $500 to help bring Ruslan home.......an huge impact from a small idea in the mind of a tremendously selfless and thoughtful girl. 

Adam and Eleni have hosted orphans before, and their hearts definitely beat for this ministry.  They began selling Citipass books to raise money for the missions team traveling to Ukraine.  When they found out the team's fundraising was very successful, and the team had a surplus, they decided to donate the proceeds from their Citipass sales to Ruslan's adoption fund.  When the Citipass company heard what they were doing, they decide to forgo their profit and give that to us as well.  Another $1000 added to our fund. 

So many family, friends and coworkers have given sacrificially to help ensure that Ruslan comes home to his forever family.  Change in a ziploc bag.....$1.....$10.......$50....$500....$1,000.......all equally important donations.  I have seen the Lord work in the most amazing ways through the tiniest of gestures, and I am so humbled by and grateful for His provision.  It is awe-inspiring to think that the Lord loves Ruslan more than we do, and that He allows us to be a part of His great plan for this little boy.

We are so close now, we just need less than 500 people who are saying no to depraved indifference...are you one of them?