Mason's Birthday

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear Mason,
Happy Birthday to you!

You guessed it....today is Mason's birthday!  Ruslan and I recorded this video yesterday while we were in the car in Odessa waiting on some documents.  I went to email it to him, but it's too big, so I uploaded it here so he can see it.

Have a happy birthday Mason!  I love you, and I'll see you soon!!!!

Photos from June 26th and 27th

Here are some photos from the "offical" day and the day after:

All set to leave orphanage for trip to Odessa

One of the churches we pointed to

Birthday meal at McDonalds

Finished his lego truck!!!

Ice cream at McDonalds

Happy Ruslan and his Papa

One of the dogs that got barked at by Ruslan

The "offical" day...and the day after...

June 26th, 2012 is the day that the Kochies family "officially" became a family of 4.  The papers are all signed with all of their "t"s crossed and "i"s dotted.  The waiting period is over and the Ukranian government recognizes that Karen and I are the proud parents of Daniel Ruslan Kochies.  He is no longer an orphan.  At times, we thought this day would never come....and I'd like to send a thank you to everyone who has made this possible.  Thank you.  Karen and I are forever in your debt.

The "offical" day is the first day that we can start the paperwork needed to bring our boy home.  He needs to have his birth certificate updated, get a new social security number, and get another passport made with his new name.  That was our goal for the day.

We started at 7:00 a.m. and drove to the orphange to pick-up Ruslan so he could accompany us on our trip to Odessa...the city where all of this paperwork would be finalized.  He came out of the orphanage wearing the same outfit he wore to court with his hair wet and combed.  His face beamed with pride and excitement and you could tell he'd been anticipating this trip all night.  He got in the car, said his hellos and off we went.  Odessa is about 1.5-2 hours away from Bilhorod on roads that are full of pot holes and bumps and have the ability to make the most experienced traveler car sick....so I was worried.  People that have adpoted from this region have expressed that some of the kids get motion sickness easily, so we were prepared.  We had plastic bags willing and able to accomodate Ruslan should the need arise.  But he did fantastic!  He seemed to love the ride.  We played games, took pictures, pointed to every single church, and pretended to swim in pretty much every body of water we could find.

When we got to Odessa, our first order of business was to get an updated birth certificate.  Our coordinator made the request and was told to come back some time later to pick it up.  That gave us time to shop for clothes for  Ruslan to wear home (the orphange does not send him with anything).  Ruslan was more than happy to try on the clothing for proper fit and really seemed to enjoy it.  He was extremely thankful for the new clothes and must have thanked me and kissed my hand at least 10 times.  He wanted to (and tried to) carry the bag but it was too heavy for him and the walk was too long.

After putting the clothes in the car, we made our way to McDonald's to have his birthday meal.  I wasn't able to take him out of the orphanage on his actual birthday because it was during the 10-day waiting period...but he didn't seem to mind.  He devoured his meal (double cheeseburger, fries, and a coke) and played with the happy meal toy (which was a Russian tiger named Vitalic from Madagascar 3 that hoola hoops)...which he got a kick out of. 

We went back and picked-up the completed birth certificate.  We then went to the social security number changing place where we found out the lady that does this job was on vacation.  Apparently, no one else in Odessa can do this job (or if they can, they weren't available either) so we struck out.  Without the social security number we couldn't apply for the passport.  So we left Odessa with the hopes of traveling back to Bilhorod to get the number changed there.  Unfortunately, that meant that we'd have to go back to Odessa the next day to apply for the passport.  On the way back to Bilhorod we received a call stating that we couldn't get the social security number changed in Bilhorod and that we'd have to go to a town called Izmail (which is on the Romanian border- further south and west) because that is where the number he has now was asigned.  So rather than making the left on the road to Bilhorod, we traveled another couple of hours to Izmail.  When we reached the office there, they informed us that they could make the change, but that it wouldn't happen until the next morning.  Ugh!  So, rather than staying the night there and waiting for the paper, we traveled back to Bilhorod with an understanding that the social security number people in Izmail would fax the information we needed to us in Odessa the next morning.  This was very unnerving because no one had heard of the passport office accepting a faxed document, but staying overnight would make it impossible to travel to Odessa the next day and have enough time to complete the other paperwork we needed.  We had to bet on the fact that they'd accept the fax.  Also, at some point, a mistake on the birth certificate was found...so we'd need to get a new one of those made.  Luckily, that is done in Odessa, so we'd be able to get that fixed in the morning without too much trouble.

I'd like to insert a little Daddy pride here....Ruslan did fantastic.  We pretty much spent the majority of our 12 hour day in the car, waiting and waiting and driving and waiting.  He didn't complain once.  We had a lego toy from his birthday that we tried to finish putting together and we joked around a lot, which seemed to pass the time quickly.  I couldn't have asked him to behave better than he did.  He handled everything like a champ.  I think I may have fussed more than he did.  So, we traveled the couple of hours back to Bilhorod, and with a new plan for the next day made, we dropped Ruslan off at the orphanage.  While I was walking him in, he asked if I'd be visiting him the next day or if I'd be in Odessa.  I said I didn't know if I'd make it back in time to visit and this made him a little sad.  At this point our coordinator told me (in English) that Ruslan would need to come with us again because he'd need to have his photo taken for the passport.  When I asked Ruslan if he wanted to come with us, he got really excited and smiled his smile...that smile.  I'm sure he had another night of anticipation.

We started the day after the "official" day around 7:30 a.m.  It was pretty much a "groundhog day" in terms of our plans.  Get a corrected birth certificate, receive the fax of the social security number, and apply for his passport.  The only thing different about today was that we didn't have a buffer day.  Thursday and Friday are holidays this week and if anything went wrong we would have to wait until next week to apply for his passport.  The heat was on.  Luckily, our coordinator and driver are phenominal.  They brought their A game and were on fire.  We zipped here, parked and waited here, zipped over here, and so on and so forth.  We were able to get everything completed and submitted for his passport before the offices closed...and they even accepted the fax.  Now our job is to sit and wait until the passport is ready (anticipated for the middle of next week).  Then we can go to Kiev and complete the US Embassy requirements and fly home.

It was another really long day in the car and Ruslan didn't complain, fuss, or get impatient at all.  He
really did a great job.  My favorite parts of today were the fact that everything seemed to go great and the passport application was submitted....and the way Ruslan took his photo for his passport.  He gets embarassed easily so his face showed his shyness when the ladies (there were 2) asked him to sit up or move left or right...but he fought so hard to stay "official".  I could tell that he was concentrating so hard to overcome his instinct to look down and away and to look directly at the camera.  He did it, and his photo came out great!  I was able to see it on the computer when they took it.  This is the only computerized part of the process that I've seen.  In a little less than a week (keep your fingers crossed) we'll have the passport in our hands and a couple days later we'll have our bags packed and be leaving on a jet plane...I don't know when we'll be back again.

There were a couple of observations over the last two days that I've made that I'd like to share:
   1) the biggest offical office in Odessa does not have a fax machine (if they do, they tell you they don't)
   2) I'm glad I didn't have to drive around Odessa (other drivers are nuts) and traffic patterns are weird
   3) there are a bunch of people walking dogs (Ruslan pointed at or barked at all of them that passed our car whenever we waited someplace)
   4) I like the "Big Tasty" from McDonald's (second day in a row...this time we all had ice cream too...Ruslan and his dad were really happy!)
   5) the Ukranian goverment takes their documents EXTREMELY seriously...you need one for everything...nothing is computerized (at least from what I've seen)...see point #1 for an example
   6) although point #5 is frustrating for this particular process...it's kind of cool that you talk to a person rather than a computer at every step of day-to-day life
   7)  Ruslan is a champ

Sage Advice

Families adopting children with special needs have......well....special needs! Love this article!

http://special-needs.adoption.com/children/special-needs-adoption-2.html

He Moves In Mysterious Ways!!!

We're about to bring our son home from Ukraine.  Friends of ours leave tomorrow to get their daughter.  The paperwork has been filed.  The bedrooms have been prepared.  In other cases, adoptions are just being pursued.  Homestudies are in progress, fundraising is in full swing.  And for almost all the children that came with Ruslan to be hosted last summer, a "forever family" is on the horizon.  Almost all of them.  Except for one.

Meet Vova.  He is the only child from last year's hosting program that is still hoping for a family to call his own.  Now before you tell me that you don't have room in your car, house, schedule, budget or heart for another child...just hear me out.  Time and time again, I have been amazed at the connections the Lord makes to bring these children in to homes.  So, if you have a moment, please share Vova's story, and let your friends and family know he is dreaming of a place to call home, a family to love, and a chance at a brighter future.  You never know how God might be working behind the scenes to put His perfect plan in to action.  You never know who might know someone who knows someone who knows someone who has been wanting to adopt.  It's happened before, even with some of the children that came with Ruslan last summer.  So, you just never know.   

Or, maybe it is you.  Maybe you're reading this, and God has placed a stirring in your heart.  Maybe you've always thought about adoption, but just weren't sure how it would work logistically, financially, etc.  Now is a great time to learn more.  Ultimately, a "forever family" would be the goal for Vova, but a strong advocate family would certainly be a blessing as well.  Someone who could take Vova in to their home for a few weeks, and advocate for his placement in a family. 

Anyone interested in learning more about Vova can talk to the family that hosted him last year, and can also learn more from Redline United (http://www.redlineunited.org/).  He's a great little boy, dreaming of a family.  Can you help make that happen?

The 25th of June

Today is a very special day.  Today is Ruslan's 10th birthday...Happy Birthday Ruslan!!!!  And tomorrow he officially/legally becomes a member of the Kochies family!

This is my first time celebrating Ruslan's birthday....so I did what I usually do on Mason's birthday.  I find time during the day to look back to the actual birth and the times immediately before and after it.  For Mason's birthday, I remember the build-up of excitement as the day came and the feelings of joy and happiness that followed (and never left).  I can clearly remember Karen's face as she held Mason for the first time and the feeling of immense love that seemed to weave it's grip around us.  There will never will be a Mason's birthday where his daddy doesn't have happy tears because of these memories.

But I'll never have those memories with Ruslan.  And that's okay.  The thought that bothered me while I thought about what his birth was like was the fact that there wasn't any joy or happiness after he was born.  I'd like to think that there was excitement building-up to the birth, and that his mother talked to him and rubbed her stomach while she was pregnant, and that he felt loved.  But when he was actually born, there wasn't anyone that thought a miracle just happened.  No one celebrated this little boy.  We were told that Ruslan was given up for adoption most likely due to his cleft lip/palate.  It hurts to think of the disappoint his mother may have felt when she looked into his face for the first time.  I can't be sure that is accurate, I wasn't there.  But he wasn't taken home from the hospital.  He was left there for over a year until he was moved to an orphanage.  How can you feel the joy and love that usually come with a birth and then leave your baby at the hospital?  How can you leave him to be cared for by others....and never look back?  We were told that he's never had a visitor at the orphanage.  His mother willingly gave-up her parental rights.  It's not my place (and I don't want) to judge her.  I don't know what her circumstances were.  I only know what I've been told.  I say these things because they made me realize that no one celebrated his birth.  No one showed that little boy love while they held him close and looked into his face.  No one dreamed about what the rest of his life would bring.  And I hurt for him. 

But he can still do this:

If he can smile and give a thumbs-up then I can smile and give a thumbs-up too.  And I love him.  His mama and brother love him too.  So today we celebrated.  Maybe it took 10 years, but now there is a family that celebrates and is happy that he was born!  We're so happy that we're going to celebrate his birthday for a second time when we're all home together in July.

So after I had my philosophical moment, I felt pretty good.  I knew that from now on, this little boy's birthday will be a celebrated event.  Before Karen left the Ukraine, she and I had some ideas for his birthday.  We knew we'd bring him presents, but what about a cake?  How about a party?  What would he like?  We ultimately decided that we'd give him presents and a cake, but we wouldn't have a party.  The kids he's with now aren't from his old orphanage and he only seems to really enjoy the company of a select handful of the them.  When there is a bunch of them around, he doesn't handle it as well.  We didn't want his birthday to be chaos.

So before I left the house I checked and rechecked my list of things to bring (kinda like Santa with his list...see yesterday's blog).  I didn't want to forget anything.  I left the house with three bags and made the walk to the store.  At the store I had to find a way to cram all this stuff into two canvas bags that lock (they use these so that people don't put stuff they didn't pay for into their own bags).  It was difficult, but with the security man's help we managed.  I then picked out a cake and bought some candles.  I had what I needed.  I made the short walk over to the orphanage, but now I had four bags.  I definitely looked out of place.  I was a cross between a hiker (backpack) and a Black Friday shopper.

Once Ruslan saw me he knew I had presents for him and he was really excited to get outside.  We said our hellos and I gave him an awkward hug (the bags) and told him Happy Birthday!  We went outside to a secluded part of the grounds and set-up shop.  We watched a video from Mama and Mason wishing him a Happy Birthday (you can see his reaction below) and then had cake.  I feel bad because I could only get 1 candle to light...the wind was so strong.  I tried everything.  I tried to block the wind, go around the corner, go in a little hut...everything I could think of.  Finally, one of my blocking contraptions worked well enough to get that one candle lit.  But Ruslan didn't mind.  He blew out the one candle and then we had cake.  Actually, we had two pieces of cake each.  He wanted me to save the rest, but unfortunately between the 2 hour visit (which included a fall from the table) and the trip back to the apartment, the cake did not survive.  After cake he opened his presents.  We gave him two lego building sets which he loved.  We spent the last bit of time we had playing legos.  Near the end of the visit we had an unexpected guest.  Our driver came to wish Ruslan a Happy Birthday.  Ruslan really likes him and I personally think it was awesome that he came.  He's really good to Ruslan (and the other children too).  Ruslan smiles a lot as it is, but today the smile never left his face (actually, it did...only when he was putting cake into his mouth).  It seemed to get bigger and bigger.  He really had a great time....and so did I!  I'm glad I was able to celebrate with him and I'm looking forward to the many birthday celebrations to come.

Happy Birthday Ruslan!

Here are some pictures from today:

Merry Christmas (In June?!?)

So, the last two days have been pretty much par for the course.  Nothing different to report on the mornings, the walks to and from the orphanage, or the after-visit suppers.  But, Ruslan and I started a new topic of conversation yesterday at the orphanage which we repeated and continued today.  The topic, which I'm pretty sure has become one of Ruslan's favorites, is.........(please read the following word with a whispered voice)..........Santa.

It all started yesterday while we were sitting at our table doing some crafts.  Ruslan really likes to hum or sing while he does crafts/writes/colors/plays/walks/you get the point.  His song-of-choice had been a song he created where he sings (or occassionally hums) "Daniel Ruslan Kochies" to different rhythms and notes.  Yesterday, without warning, the song was different.  He was humming something I'd heard before.  Something from my past.  Something that I couldn't quite put a name to.  Then it hit me.  It was Jingle Bells.  I probably should have realized it earlier, but the place I was in...and the company I was with...and the time of year...just didn't add up.  I went out on a limb and started singing the words while he hummed the melody.  This immediatly caused him to stop what he was doing, look up at me, and smile.  Then he started bobbing his head to the beat while we performed our song.  He even took over lead vocals anytime the words "Jingle Bells" came up.  Somehow this international Christmas song spurred a conversation about Santa.  Ruslan told me that he knows of Santa from watching TV and that Santa does not visit the orphanage.  Then I told him that Santa visits our house in America.  Holy cow.....what a reaction!  He was PUMPED (yes, all capital letters!).  I drew a picture of a Christmas tree and a fireplace and drew a line where Santa would walk back and forth.  Ruslan laughed and had fun describing how he'd wait up to see Santa.  Then he asked me if I've ever seen him.  I told him I hadn't and that he wouldn't either because Santa only comes when you're sleeping.  He then pretended to be sleeping, then he pretended to wake up and walk down the stairs into the living room.  Then he pointed to the drawing of the tree (with presents underneath) and made his "binocular eyes" with his hands.  (He uses these to let me know that he sees something he likes).  He then told me that he wants a present from Santa.  When I said Santa will bring him a present, he asked for 11....and then he asked for 100 presents.  I told him he couldn't have that many because Santa's bag isn't that big....they won't fit.  We covered other topics related to Santa like the cookies, and the chimney, and even covered the broader topic of Christmas itself.  He really likes the idea of getting presents, but I was really surprised because he likes the idea of giving presents just as much.  When he asked me if all the presents would be his, I told him no...they'll have tags with people's names on them.  I drew a picture of a tag with "to" and "from" on it and he wrote out pretend tags for Mama, Papa, Mason (btw he only writes Mason's name in Russian) and even one for babushka and dedushka (grandma and grandpa).  I was impressed.  We pretty much repeated this conversation again today (with no less enthusiasm), but this time he took the role of drawing the Christmas tree.  That is one boy that is already excited about Christmas.  I wonder when he'll want to start counting down the days until then.  That reminds me, how many shopping days are left until Christmas?

If you've read our previous blog posts, you'll probably remember the lady that climbs over the orphanage fence.  I'm pleased to report that today she wasn't alone.  Your first thought might be: did she take a kid with her?  Nope.  Another (grown) woman decided to hop the fence with her (and when I say "hop" I mean slowly, yet skillfully, climb....there is absolutely no "hop" about it).  Ruslan and I got a kick out of this.  Anytime I looked away out of fear of being caught gawking, Ruslan would say "Papa" and point at them.  I was relieved when they were both over the fence and safely on the ground on the other side because I really didn't want them to see us watching them...especially with one of us pointing.

Tomorrow is Ruslan's birthday and I just finished wrapping his presents.  Unfortunately, I couldn't find wrapping paper at the store so I had to buy a couple of notebooks and some tape.  I wrapped each present twice because the pictures showed through the white paper...hopefully they won't be too hard to open.  I'm also going to bring a special treat for him to eat and Karen and Mason were able to record a happy birthday message for him.  I hope that our little party will be special to him.  Tomorrow is also the last day of our 10-day waiting period.  Then we can get the final ball rolling and put the finishing touches on this process and get him home to have a proper birthday cake with his whole family.  His brother's birthday is on the 28th so we may have to have 2 cakes!  And then we can start counting down the days until Christmas.