Internet was down.....but we're back!

Sorry folks....the internet was down and I haven't been able to post in a bunch of days.  And.....not much has changed.  I'm still doing the wake-up, eat, watch TV, visit the orphanage, eat at the store, walk home, watch more TV, and go to sleep routine.  Now that the internet is working again, I'll probably throw some internet into the mix as well....just not sure where to fit it in?!?  There has been some improvement on the TV though, I found another movie station that plays some English language movies with (you guessed it) Arabic subtitles...and there is a German station that plays about 30% of the EuroCup games.  I've even caught myself doing some English commentary alongside the German.  I think mine is better, but I don't understand the German so it's hard to tell.

My time with Ruslan each day has been awesome.  He greets me with a hug and kiss....and a HUGE smile!  And then it's time to go to "our" table.  We've been getting better at communicating with each other, especially when we talk about the trip home and what we'll do when we get there.  He's really, really, really excited to have pizza and ice cream and to go swimming.  He's already indicated that he doesn't want to wear any floatation devices, but I disagreed with him (we'll see how that goes...he can't swim on his own yet).  We've been practicing writing his name in preparation for school and also writing out the names of the members of our family.  Without fail, whenever he writes "papa" in English he giggles and points to me and says "rara" (the "p" in Russian is pronounced like "r").  Just a little game we play.  The other big topic of our conversation is his birthday....which he is REALLY excited about (btw..it's on Monday... and he'll be 10).  Monday also happens to be the last day of the waiting period.  The timing is pretty awesome....Happy Birthday! Welcome to our family!  Actually, Tuesday will be the official day, but close enough!  Don't tell him, but Karen and I got him a couple of lego toys for his birthday.  He seems to really like to put them together, and take them apart, and put them back together.  From what I've seen, Ruslan has also been doing really good with the other kids in his group.  Depending on who his caregiver is for the day, sometimes other kids are allowed to visit and play with us.  When that happens, Ruslan has been able to share his stuff, talk and laugh with them, run and play, and be really nice to the kids.  On these days, which are the exception rather than the norm, we usually spend about an hour by ourselves before the other kids come over.  Then they hang out with us for about 30 minutes and then he usually has so much fun that he wants to run off and play with them rather than stay at our table.  So, he usually asks me to leave right around 5:30...which I'm happy to do.  He really has a good time with them and I don't want to hold him back from running and playing...he's a 10 year-old boy.  I usually hang back for a couple of minutes and watch him play....it's good to see him be a kid with other kids.  Most of the time I see him at the orphanage he's sitting at a table or playing with me....which just isn't the same.  Before he lets me go, he always checks to make sure that I'll be back the next day at 4:00 p.m.  With that assurance, he's able to let his mind focus on being a kid.

друг (droog) - Russian for friend

Yesterday was Father's Day.  And it started out like most days here.  I woke up, had breakfast, and watched some old shows on the TV....yesterday it was old episodes of Bones (usually it's The Shield...so that was a relief)....and yes, Bones was subtitled in Arabic right in the middle of the screen.  After a couple of weeks you don't even notice them that much.  I walked to the orphanage and was sweating when I got there.  It was really hot.  Ruslan was happy to see me.  He got dressed, had his snack, and we were off to our table in the backyard.  While he was eating his banana and drinking his juice, I was proud to show him that I remembered the glue stick (which I had forgotten the day before).  This promoted the idea of doing some crafts.  He dug through the plastic shopping bag (that I use to tote all of our supplies in) looking for some crayons.  Then he remembered that he kept them over night and went upstairs to grab them.  When he came back, he dumped the box on the table and only 3 crayons came out.  A red, a blue, and two pieces of yellow.  He then motioned to me that the other kids had broken the other crayons and got really upset.  After I assured him that it was okay, and that we can get more crayons, he started to color with what we had.  It took a little over 45 minutes for him to start to cheer up again.  Just as we were starting to talk and joke with each other, a really nice Ukranian bird decided to drop the old #2 on my shirt.  It wasn't a big one, but enough to get his point across.  I chuckled a bit, but Ruslan was all business.  He dug into the plastic bag and grabbed the baby wipes we use to clean the table/hands/faces, etc. and handed me one to clean my shirt.  Someone once told me that when a bird poops on you it's supposed to be good luck.  I never thought so, but I'm starting to believe it.  The rest of the visit was very good.  He cheered up and was able to joke and play like nothing happened.  When I left, he was in a really good mood and so was I.

I walked to the store and ate my standard meal (stuffed cabbage and either rice/mashed potatoes) but had to fight a little with the lady who served me.  She really wanted to put sour cream on my cabbage, but I didn't want her to.  She kept insisting, but in the end, I won and was able to eat my cabbage w/out the room temperature sour cream.  I picked-up some crayons, a box of molding clay, and a backpack for Ruslan.  Karen and I wanted him to have something to put his activities in for the plane ride and I didn't want to carry the plastic bag back and forth anymore.  When I got home I was able to skype with Mason and Karen for Father's Day as well as my father, mother, and grandma.  It was my mom's birthday so Happy Birthday Mom!

This morning was pretty much a repeat of yesterday (they actually showed the same episodes of Bones...which I watched again).  The big difference was that I packed all of our supplies in the backpack instead of the plastic bag =].  I'll admit, it was a lot easier to carry on the walk.  Ruslan was so excited to see the bag.  With a big smile on his face, he asked if it was mine.  I told him it was his and then he giggled as his smile got bigger.  He put his shoes on quickly because he wanted to get outside to investigate it.  Once outside, he dug through every compartment and laughed when he found the wipes in their own little pouch.  He ate his banana and drank his juice.  When the other kids came outside, he called over to a little girl who he really hasn't gotten along with.  While she was on her way, he looked up at me and asked it it was okay.  I said sure.  When she got there, he showed her his bag and let her color with his new crayons.  He was playing with his stickers, and even though I don't know any Russian, I'm positive he told her that they were a gift from his mama.  When the teacher saw the girl at our table, she called her back to the group.  With some protest from her and Ruslan, she got up and left.  We played for a little while and then he took out the camera.  He called back to the girl and to her friend and they both came over.  They played really well together and even let me take a couple of pictures of the three of them.  When the teacher called the girls back, Ruslan asked if I could leave and come back tomorrow at 4:00 p.m.  I said sure and packed up our stuff.  We said our goodbyes and as I was walking out I could see Ruslan playing with the two girls again, all three of them were really happy.  Although our visit was shorter than normal, it was really good to see him making an effort to be friendly with the other children from the orphanage.  From what we'd seen up until now, and what the orphanage workers have described, Ruslan has been an orphan within the orphanage.  Today, however, he has friends.  And a family.  So long for the "orphan" title.....it no longer applies.

Message For Mama

I tried to stay awake last night until Karen made it home but I failed.  I fell asleep on the couch.  At some point I must have moved to the bed because that's where my day started.  I had some breakfast while my computer started up and then I logged onto facebook to get an update on Karen's travels.  What a relief it was to see that she made it home....finally!  It was about 5 a.m. EST (too early to skype Karen and Mason) so I killed time by reading and watching old episodes of The Shield (one of the only English speaking shows I could find...however it did have arabic subtitles across the middle of the screen).  Still, better than the close second-place choice of old tennis matches that I've already seen 3-4 times on ESPN Classic Europe.

And then...finally.  I received a message from Karen and Mason.  It was so good....no it was GREAT... to skype with them.  Even though their video wasn't working it really sunk in that she made it home and they're together.  Mason sounded so happy to be with his mama again.  Boy do I miss them.

At 8:45 a.m. EST I started my uneventful walk to the orphanage.  Today I wasn't so lucky with the guard at the gate.  My fear came true when he popped out of the door to his building and asked me something in Russian.  I did the only thing I had rehearsed.  I said Ruslan's name.  Then he said something else (or maybe the same thing) so I repeated Ruslan's name again.  This seemed to work.  He nodded his head and I was in.  This time when I walked into the room upstairs Ruslan and the other children were just waking up from their nap and sitting down for snack.  I waited and watched as he ate a piece of bread (which actually looked really good) and drank something from his cup.  He cleaned up his space and brought his dishes to the sink.  Warning: Proud Papa moment...From around the corner I heard him say Spaseba (thank-you) to the woman who put out the snack.  What a good job!  I'd like to say that I taught him that, but I think that was all on his own.  He went to his cubby and got dressed and we went outside.

It was a beautiful day today.  The wind was blowing and the sun was out, but not overpowering.  We sat at our table, he had his daily banana and juice, and then we got down to business.  He pulled out the scissors and started cutting paper to glue onto other sheets of paper.  That's when we discovered that I left the glue stick back at the apartment.  He took this in stride and decided that he'd rather play with the camera anyway.  He found two functions on the camera that he really likes, the video camera feature and the voice recorder.  He really likes to sing while he's working with crafts or drawing or writing so I took a video of him singing a song.  Then he made a special video for his mama.  I knew he wanted to do it because he handed me the camera.  9 out of 10 times once he gets his hands on it, he doesn't like to let it go.  Karen, if you're reading this, this is for you:

We really got along great today.  He didn't try to kick me out at 5 p.m. and was really happy the whole time.  He still gets a little defensive when some of the kids want to play with my watch, but once he says his peace (it's in Russian so I'm not sure what exactly his peace is) he's fine with them being around.  We walked around the orphanage building while he took pictures and joked with each other about what the other one would eat.  Supposedly he won't eat snails but he says that I will.  We talked about swimming in America.  He's really excited about doing that and eating ice cream and pizza....yes we talked about ice cream and pizza again.  They are a real love of his.  We said our goodbyes and he double-checked that I'd be there between 4 and 6 p.m. tomorrow.  Once that was confirmed he was more than happy to go back with his group.  On the way out I saw the gaurd and told him I'd be back tomorrow (a little preemptive strike).  He smiled and nodded so we'll see what happens.

I walked to the store and had my usual, a soup, a plate of stuffed cabbage, and another plate of curry rice.  For some reason they will not put the two of these on the same plate.  If I get rice and chicken, they put them together....but not the rice and cabbage.  Anyway, it's fine with me.  I just feel funny carrying a tray with two plates and a bowl.  The lady that helped me asked where my wife was and then pretended she was sleeping....we do a lot of charades.  At first I thought that we eat there way too often because the people that work there know us by sight...but then I had a pretty nice thought, I realized that there are now three people here that miss Karen already.

Court Is Behind Us

Hello everyone, it's Bill.  If you've been reading our blog then you know that my wife is extremely gifted when it comes to writing....so I've been a little intimidated knowing that I would assume the blogging privelage when she left the Ukraine.  She is now on her way to the US, and I'm here in the Ukraine, so it's time to face my fears, roll up my sleaves, and get to working.  Big deep breath....here we go.

Today is the day after our court hearing, and the first full day that Ruslan is officially, unofficially part of our family (can't wait for the 10 day waiting period to be over - then it's official!).  Karen left yesterday for the US so it's been a lonely night and morning.  I've been able to pass the time by checking her flight status constantly.  It was fun crossing departures and arrivals off on my sheet as they happened, but the fun went away when I saw that her second flight from Germany to Washington DC was over 3 hours delayed...which meant that she would miss her final flight to RDU.  I knew I couldn't do anything from here, but I worried and worried and worried.  At 3:45 p.m. Ukraine time I pried myself from the computer and walked the 30 minutes to the orphanage.

I was nervous to go without our driver to escort me into the building, but it worked out perfect.  I was able to get in quickly without any problems (usually there is a man at the guard building).   When I got upstairs to where Ruslan's group stays, the door was open and I could see Ruslan sitting at a table putting together a lego fire truck that we had brought for him.  He heard me at the door, turned around, and said, "Papa, where is mama" and before I could answer he said (with a huge smile on his face), "in America!"  Then he started to laugh because he knew the answer before I did.  At this point his teacher told me that he needed to eat snack before he could leave.  He sat down, took two bites of something from a bowl, made a yuck face at me, and then gathered his truck and we went outside.  We sat down at a table and had our daily banana and Sandora (which is the brand name of a juice that he LOVES).  Also, I gave him a couple of departing gifts from his, now legally recognized, Mama.  One was a package of stickers and the other was a chocolate egg with a prize inside.  Before he opened either of them he said "thank you Mama" toward the sky with a big smile on his face and a little bow that he does when he askes permission or says thank you.  He gobbled up the chocolate, got some on his lips, closed his eyes and said "num, num."  He then tanked some more Sandora and asked me to help him put together his fire truck.  While I got to work on that, he started to look through the photo album we brought to be used in court.  There is a picture of our house and he likes to point to each window and tell me which rooms they are.  He giggles when he gets to the bathroom and smiles when he gets to his room.  Then he bursts into singing "Oh Happy Day" at an increased volume.  I was surprised because he usually doesn't want anyone to hear him, but today it seems that he's thrown caution to the wind...his voice is loud and proud.

After his group finished snack they came outside to where we were sitting.  His teacher asked us to move to another area of the playground...so we did.  They either like to give us space for our comfort or keep us from the other children to keep the chaos down for their comfort...or a little of both...I haven't been able to decide.  But alone at our new table, we are able to chit chat in the "he speaks Russian and I speak English" way that we've grown comfortable with.  He jokes with me and asks why I didn't go back to America and Mama stay with him...at least I think he's joking because he starts to giggle after he says it.  Then, after getting a frown face from me, he rolls with it and says that I can leave at 5:00 p.m. today (usually we stay until 6:00 p.m.) which gets another frown face.  He giggles and then holds up 10 fingers saying that he wants me to stay until 10.  He leans in for a hug and he get one.  He's a great kid and has an awesome sense of humor.  For all that he's been through, it's really good to see that he can still have a place inside him filled with fun, love, and happiness.

We spent the rest of the time playing frisbee (I think we each took 3 throws), playing with the legos, and alternating between the songs of "Oh Happy Day" and a new one that he started singing today titled "Daniel Ruslan Kochies."  (Oh, by the way, don't try to transliterate Daniel Ruslan Kochies into Russian....he wants no part of that.  He clearly stated that we'll be writing it in English from now on).  This new song is sung by repeatedly singing Daniel Ruslan Kochies in different notes to different beats.  Throughout the visit today I can't help but notice how happy he is.  And he also seems relieved.  I truely believe that he understands what happened at court yesterday.  He now has a family.  Just like he wished for during a project at the orphanage.  Just like he hoped and dreamed.  He has a mama, a papa, a brother, two dogs, a stray cat, a frog, and a tank full of fish.  That's a lot to love....and he has the heart to do it.  Before I left he asked me to lift him high in the air (which he asks for everyday).  And then he asked for another, and another.  On the last one, he wrapped his legs around me so I couldn't put him down.  Then he gave me at least 15 kisses on my cheeck and head.  I gave him some in return.  Then we said our dasvidaniyas and he went with his group and I left the orphanage.

I was nervous about today.  It was my first solo flight here in the Ukraine and I didn't have Karen with me.  But all-in-all I think it went really well.  When I sat down to eat at the restaurant in the "Walmart" a music video came on the televisions mounted on the wall.  It was Karen's favorite song in the Ukraine...."TaCaTa".  And I thought of her.  And I knew that everything was going to be alright.

Details To Come......

I've got a plane to catch, so no time to blog! Details to come of our (several) delayed court hearings today, and the final one that made Ruslan our boy! 

Marking Time......

We'll eventually be turning this blog in to a book, so I want to save this space for the post I am too exhausted to write!  It will include details of why you shouldn't wear flip flops with tights, a night out in Odessa (including why you never want to sit near Bill in an Opera House!), why our driver is the most awesome, a visit to the Golden Arches, how not to get through border patrol, and why we chose to stay up ALL night the night before our adoption court hearing.  Good times! 

DISCLAIMER: Bill will be blogging from now on since I am heading to Kiev and then home.  I did give him a tutorial, but I bear no responsibility for what shows up on this page from here on out! ; )

Court Is In Session.....Soon!

So I prayed last night before bed.  Not for a positive court outcome.  Not for speedy resolution.  In fact, I didn't have one petition for God.  I just told Him (after being spurred on by my devotional yesterday!) that I humbly put myself in His hands.  That I would accept whatever timeline He put before me, and stop trying to make it suit my needs.  And I thanked Him for the amazing blessings he has given us.  It was good to just lay it all at His feet because I have been pretty impatient awaiting news of when we would finally get to court. 

We haven't done much sightseeing here because for one, we wanted to keep the budget costs low and extra trips with the driver mean extra money.  Additionally, we respected the fact that the facilitator (and even the driver!) were busy running papers all around Ukraine for us trying to get things done.  We finally got stir crazy enough to want to go see the water we could vaguely make out when looking at the horizon from the orphanage, so we did go see the harbor the other day. 

But, ever since we first stopped in Odessa and the driver pointed out the Odessa Opera House, I have been mini-dreaming of being able to go to a performance there.  I love all things theater, drama and performance and it is supposed to be a breathtakingly beautiful building.  But I didn't dare ask.  First, I thought the cost would be astronomical and then of course all the reasons we mentioned above were on my mind as well. 

Out of curiosity I looked online, and noticed that there was a ballet showing tonight at the Opera House AND that the tickets were dirt cheap!!! (Even the good seats!)  So I mustered up the courage to ask if we could go.  Okay...not true...I mustered up the courage to e-mail our Advocate for Orphans contact in California and ask HIM if it would be okay if we asked to go.  HE gave me the courage to ask.

So, I called our facilitator and said, "Bill and I were wondering if we could go into Odessa tomorrow night." In a deadpan serious voice he said, "Why?".....to which I explained we would like to go to the Opera House to see the ballet.  I told him we felt like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity and it is supposed to be one of the most beautiful buildings in the world (to which he kind of chuckled....it is probably how we feel when people are amazed at some sight that we have access to every day and is just second nature for us!) We even offered to include the driver (so he wouldn't have to sit there bored, and since tickets are dirt cheap!) To this he said, "I assure you he is not interested!"  And then the thought of our burly driver sitting in the ballet gave us a good giggle.  But he said he would think about it and let us know.  As a precaution, we told Ruslan that we wouldn't be visiting today (better to say that and end up coming after all, than to leave him thinking we are coming and then not show up!), but that we would be back on Thursday, which he understood.  The first thing he asked us is if we were going to Odessa to go swimming!!! (Cracks us up...this kid loves the ocean and I think it just might have broken his heart to hear we were going swimming without him!) We explained that no, we were going with our driver and facilitator.  Then he gestured filling out paperwork, asking if we were going to get paperwork done.  (He knows our facilitator has been away in Kiev, busy getting things done so that is what he associates him with.) Well, neither Bill nor I knew the word for "ballet" in Russian, and after the elephant escapade, neither one of us was too keen on acting out some ballet moves.  So we just said yes, as it was something he could easily understand.  And, it was in part true because our facilitator is bringing the permission from the SDA to have court.  So we left it at that, and he was okay with it.  He kept his lego firetruck to work on while we're away, and we told him we would see him on Thursday...just in case!

So we were kind of excited, but we have learned not to get our hopes up around here because that way when things do pan out, we can be pleasantly surprised! So we went on about our day, and then Sasha called later that night and said he thought it would "not be a bad idea" if we went in to Odessa, but that we would need to wait and see how things went this morning in Kiev with the permission for court.  He said if we DID go we'd probably need to be ready around 2 or 3pm.

So we watched some movies, Skyped a little, checked our e-mail, had a snack, and eventually went to bed.  When we got up this morning (which was really afternoon since we've kept ourselves on American time!) We both showered and started getting ready.  And then it occurred to us, we didn't really know what we were getting ready for!  We weren't sure if we'd be going to the ballet or not...so we kind of chuckled about that and said, well....we might just look REALLY nice for our orphanage visit today!  Then my husband, ever the romantic, says, "If we don't go to the ballet, I'm taking you out to a NICE dinner at the Wal-Mart"...and we both got a laugh out of that. 

We are sitting in the living room, dressed up with maybe no place to go, and we are watching the time go by.  And 2:00 comes, and 3:00 comes, and Bill looks at me and says, "So...what are you going to pick for dinner at the store?"  No word from our facilitator at this point so we both think it's a safe bet we're going on our regular orphanage visit at 4:15p.  Then, at 3:24, our facilitator calls.  He tells us that the driver will be picking us up at 4:30p to go to Odessa for the ballet.  And he says he got the permission for court.  And he says court is tomorrow! And I am screaming in the background, "You rock Sasha!" as Bill is thanking him on the phone.  And the he hangs up.  And he is crying.  And I am jumping around and screaming and jumping some more.  And then we both thank God.  And then I am crying, realizing Ruslan will (Lord willing!) be our son tomorrow.  And then we are both hugging and crying.  And then we think it is the perfect night to celebrate by going on a date night to the ballet.  And it works out perfectly because our facilitator needs to come through Odessa anyway to get here for court so he'll be meeting us there.  And we are reminded, yet again, that God's timing is always perfect. 

And tomorrow we will be going to court to ask them to grant us the privilege of bringing Ruslan home to our family.  And Friday I am flying home to my other little boy, who has been anxiously awaiting my return.  And we'll have the weekend together to reconnect, and go to church, and get back to normal.  And in a few weeks, that plane will land in RDU with Bill and Ruslan on it.  And the minute it touches down, Ruslan will be a United States citizen.  And our family will be home together. Under one roof. Growing and learning together, and ready to face a whole new adventure.  We are just two broken people, nowhere near worthy of these amazing blessings, and so humbled at the feet of an awesome God who made this all possible, will the help of some unforgettable people who were willing to be His hands and feet.  Thank you, from the bottom of our hearts.