Writer's Block

We're home.....together.....as a family of four....but if you had to rely on this blog for that information, you'd never know it! So sorry our blog has been offline....we've been busy with the business of being busy!  And I honestly feel like I don't know what to write....or how to say it.....and it is wonderful, and delightful, and a blessing beyond measure to have Ruslan home.  But it is also exhausting keeping up with our new normal! 

Our gratitude runs deep and far and wide, and it seems there will never be enough ways to say thank you.  Our hearts are so full with the every day moments that take our breath away, and it sometimes seems there is no adequate way to describe them or revisit them in writing. 

And we've got ten years to catch up with for Ruslan....he keeps us busy, engaged, and on our toes! (And we love and are grateful for each moment!)

With Bill's shift schedule, the kids' school schedules, me working full time, etc....our family time is very limited and precious.....so we're pretty greedy with it right now....because we need to be....for Ruslan....for Mason....for us.

Along the way, we are praising God for the blessing of raising this beautiful boy.  For the blessing of a family that is loving and learning and growing together.  For the blessing of the village of people who chose to be the hands and feet of Jesus to help us bring Ruslan home, and who continue to love us, and him. 

I'm sure I'll start blogging again.  What isn't flowing freely from my pen right now is surely flowing freely from my heart....a love that is unconditional, unwavering, unparalleled and forever.  That's something worth writing about! Stay tuned.....hoping to be back to writing

 

Just waiting....

It's getting close to the time we'll all be home together.  A couple more days (hopefully) and Ruslan and I will be stressed at the airport trying to make it through security, finding gates, making connecting flights, and then we'll land on American soil.  It's at this point that Ruslan will become an American citizen.  And then customs and another connecting flight and then we'll have made it to our family.  It's coming soon.  I've been in the Ukraine for a while now, and in that time I've done a lot of waiting.  The waiting hasn't been too bad at all.  But as the days get closer, the waiting feels longer.  The old episodes of Bones and The Shield aren't passing time like they used to.  The movie channels are playing games with me and have stepped up the non-English movies quite a bit...and sometimes they'll even take an English move (like the Terminator) and dub over the English with Arabic.  Also, I'm not sleeping as late as I'd like to.  All of these things make the waiting longer, and Saturday feel so far away.  Even my routine at the store was thrown out the window today.  There was a different lady at the cafe.  I tried to order the same thing I usually get but I couldn't answer her question.  I told her I didn't speak Russian and I pointed to the item I wanted (which I usually do).  She asked me the same question again.  When I repeated that I don't speak Russian, she put down my plate and turned to the next people in line and helped them.  Man, talk about a let down.  That's one of the things I look foreward to each day.  She got me.  Instead, I had a sandwich and some crackers back at the apartment.  I'll try again tomorrow.

It looks like we'll be able to leave on Saturday (barring any delays....knock on wood).  We're waiting here in Bilhorod for Ruslan's passport to be completed.  Once that's done, we'll pick it up in Odessa on our way to Kiev.  We'll stay there the rest of the time and have our meeting with the Embassy and a mandatory doctor's visit.  Then it's on to America.

There are a lot of things to look forward to.  The plane ride, getting to see Karen and Mason, sleeping in my own bed, petting the dogs, water that's not turned off during the day or night....I look forward to these things for Ruslan as well.  I know he'll be excited to see his mama and his brother.  And he'll be excited to have his own room with his own toys and clothes.  But I've got to remind myself that although it's so exciting for him, it's different.  It'll all be new.  He won't speak English.  The sights, the sounds, and the smells won't be familiar.  I've got to remember that this won't feel like home.  In a lot of the same ways I felt lost sometimes here in the Ukraine, he'll feel that in the US.  I know he'll adapt quickly and he's excited and happy to go.  I just have to remember that this isn't a "homecoming" for him....it's a new begining.  For as much excitement and releif I feel, he'll be feeling equal amounts of being "lost."  I admire how brave he is and must be.  He's leaving everything that's familiar (no matter how good or aweful it was) and he's starting a new life.  How couragous it is for a 10 year old to do this.  I know he'll have a better life, but he's only going on hopes and dreams.  What an amazing leap of faith.  So we wait.  We'll start our journey soon.

Mason's Birthday

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear Mason,
Happy Birthday to you!

You guessed it....today is Mason's birthday!  Ruslan and I recorded this video yesterday while we were in the car in Odessa waiting on some documents.  I went to email it to him, but it's too big, so I uploaded it here so he can see it.

Have a happy birthday Mason!  I love you, and I'll see you soon!!!!

Photos from June 26th and 27th

Here are some photos from the "offical" day and the day after:

All set to leave orphanage for trip to Odessa

One of the churches we pointed to

Birthday meal at McDonalds

Finished his lego truck!!!

Ice cream at McDonalds

Happy Ruslan and his Papa

One of the dogs that got barked at by Ruslan

The "offical" day...and the day after...

June 26th, 2012 is the day that the Kochies family "officially" became a family of 4.  The papers are all signed with all of their "t"s crossed and "i"s dotted.  The waiting period is over and the Ukranian government recognizes that Karen and I are the proud parents of Daniel Ruslan Kochies.  He is no longer an orphan.  At times, we thought this day would never come....and I'd like to send a thank you to everyone who has made this possible.  Thank you.  Karen and I are forever in your debt.

The "offical" day is the first day that we can start the paperwork needed to bring our boy home.  He needs to have his birth certificate updated, get a new social security number, and get another passport made with his new name.  That was our goal for the day.

We started at 7:00 a.m. and drove to the orphange to pick-up Ruslan so he could accompany us on our trip to Odessa...the city where all of this paperwork would be finalized.  He came out of the orphanage wearing the same outfit he wore to court with his hair wet and combed.  His face beamed with pride and excitement and you could tell he'd been anticipating this trip all night.  He got in the car, said his hellos and off we went.  Odessa is about 1.5-2 hours away from Bilhorod on roads that are full of pot holes and bumps and have the ability to make the most experienced traveler car sick....so I was worried.  People that have adpoted from this region have expressed that some of the kids get motion sickness easily, so we were prepared.  We had plastic bags willing and able to accomodate Ruslan should the need arise.  But he did fantastic!  He seemed to love the ride.  We played games, took pictures, pointed to every single church, and pretended to swim in pretty much every body of water we could find.

When we got to Odessa, our first order of business was to get an updated birth certificate.  Our coordinator made the request and was told to come back some time later to pick it up.  That gave us time to shop for clothes for  Ruslan to wear home (the orphange does not send him with anything).  Ruslan was more than happy to try on the clothing for proper fit and really seemed to enjoy it.  He was extremely thankful for the new clothes and must have thanked me and kissed my hand at least 10 times.  He wanted to (and tried to) carry the bag but it was too heavy for him and the walk was too long.

After putting the clothes in the car, we made our way to McDonald's to have his birthday meal.  I wasn't able to take him out of the orphanage on his actual birthday because it was during the 10-day waiting period...but he didn't seem to mind.  He devoured his meal (double cheeseburger, fries, and a coke) and played with the happy meal toy (which was a Russian tiger named Vitalic from Madagascar 3 that hoola hoops)...which he got a kick out of. 

We went back and picked-up the completed birth certificate.  We then went to the social security number changing place where we found out the lady that does this job was on vacation.  Apparently, no one else in Odessa can do this job (or if they can, they weren't available either) so we struck out.  Without the social security number we couldn't apply for the passport.  So we left Odessa with the hopes of traveling back to Bilhorod to get the number changed there.  Unfortunately, that meant that we'd have to go back to Odessa the next day to apply for the passport.  On the way back to Bilhorod we received a call stating that we couldn't get the social security number changed in Bilhorod and that we'd have to go to a town called Izmail (which is on the Romanian border- further south and west) because that is where the number he has now was asigned.  So rather than making the left on the road to Bilhorod, we traveled another couple of hours to Izmail.  When we reached the office there, they informed us that they could make the change, but that it wouldn't happen until the next morning.  Ugh!  So, rather than staying the night there and waiting for the paper, we traveled back to Bilhorod with an understanding that the social security number people in Izmail would fax the information we needed to us in Odessa the next morning.  This was very unnerving because no one had heard of the passport office accepting a faxed document, but staying overnight would make it impossible to travel to Odessa the next day and have enough time to complete the other paperwork we needed.  We had to bet on the fact that they'd accept the fax.  Also, at some point, a mistake on the birth certificate was found...so we'd need to get a new one of those made.  Luckily, that is done in Odessa, so we'd be able to get that fixed in the morning without too much trouble.

I'd like to insert a little Daddy pride here....Ruslan did fantastic.  We pretty much spent the majority of our 12 hour day in the car, waiting and waiting and driving and waiting.  He didn't complain once.  We had a lego toy from his birthday that we tried to finish putting together and we joked around a lot, which seemed to pass the time quickly.  I couldn't have asked him to behave better than he did.  He handled everything like a champ.  I think I may have fussed more than he did.  So, we traveled the couple of hours back to Bilhorod, and with a new plan for the next day made, we dropped Ruslan off at the orphanage.  While I was walking him in, he asked if I'd be visiting him the next day or if I'd be in Odessa.  I said I didn't know if I'd make it back in time to visit and this made him a little sad.  At this point our coordinator told me (in English) that Ruslan would need to come with us again because he'd need to have his photo taken for the passport.  When I asked Ruslan if he wanted to come with us, he got really excited and smiled his smile...that smile.  I'm sure he had another night of anticipation.

We started the day after the "official" day around 7:30 a.m.  It was pretty much a "groundhog day" in terms of our plans.  Get a corrected birth certificate, receive the fax of the social security number, and apply for his passport.  The only thing different about today was that we didn't have a buffer day.  Thursday and Friday are holidays this week and if anything went wrong we would have to wait until next week to apply for his passport.  The heat was on.  Luckily, our coordinator and driver are phenominal.  They brought their A game and were on fire.  We zipped here, parked and waited here, zipped over here, and so on and so forth.  We were able to get everything completed and submitted for his passport before the offices closed...and they even accepted the fax.  Now our job is to sit and wait until the passport is ready (anticipated for the middle of next week).  Then we can go to Kiev and complete the US Embassy requirements and fly home.

It was another really long day in the car and Ruslan didn't complain, fuss, or get impatient at all.  He
really did a great job.  My favorite parts of today were the fact that everything seemed to go great and the passport application was submitted....and the way Ruslan took his photo for his passport.  He gets embarassed easily so his face showed his shyness when the ladies (there were 2) asked him to sit up or move left or right...but he fought so hard to stay "official".  I could tell that he was concentrating so hard to overcome his instinct to look down and away and to look directly at the camera.  He did it, and his photo came out great!  I was able to see it on the computer when they took it.  This is the only computerized part of the process that I've seen.  In a little less than a week (keep your fingers crossed) we'll have the passport in our hands and a couple days later we'll have our bags packed and be leaving on a jet plane...I don't know when we'll be back again.

There were a couple of observations over the last two days that I've made that I'd like to share:
   1) the biggest offical office in Odessa does not have a fax machine (if they do, they tell you they don't)
   2) I'm glad I didn't have to drive around Odessa (other drivers are nuts) and traffic patterns are weird
   3) there are a bunch of people walking dogs (Ruslan pointed at or barked at all of them that passed our car whenever we waited someplace)
   4) I like the "Big Tasty" from McDonald's (second day in a row...this time we all had ice cream too...Ruslan and his dad were really happy!)
   5) the Ukranian goverment takes their documents EXTREMELY seriously...you need one for everything...nothing is computerized (at least from what I've seen)...see point #1 for an example
   6) although point #5 is frustrating for this particular process...it's kind of cool that you talk to a person rather than a computer at every step of day-to-day life
   7)  Ruslan is a champ

Sage Advice

Families adopting children with special needs have......well....special needs! Love this article!

http://special-needs.adoption.com/children/special-needs-adoption-2.html

He Moves In Mysterious Ways!!!

We're about to bring our son home from Ukraine.  Friends of ours leave tomorrow to get their daughter.  The paperwork has been filed.  The bedrooms have been prepared.  In other cases, adoptions are just being pursued.  Homestudies are in progress, fundraising is in full swing.  And for almost all the children that came with Ruslan to be hosted last summer, a "forever family" is on the horizon.  Almost all of them.  Except for one.

Meet Vova.  He is the only child from last year's hosting program that is still hoping for a family to call his own.  Now before you tell me that you don't have room in your car, house, schedule, budget or heart for another child...just hear me out.  Time and time again, I have been amazed at the connections the Lord makes to bring these children in to homes.  So, if you have a moment, please share Vova's story, and let your friends and family know he is dreaming of a place to call home, a family to love, and a chance at a brighter future.  You never know how God might be working behind the scenes to put His perfect plan in to action.  You never know who might know someone who knows someone who knows someone who has been wanting to adopt.  It's happened before, even with some of the children that came with Ruslan last summer.  So, you just never know.   

Or, maybe it is you.  Maybe you're reading this, and God has placed a stirring in your heart.  Maybe you've always thought about adoption, but just weren't sure how it would work logistically, financially, etc.  Now is a great time to learn more.  Ultimately, a "forever family" would be the goal for Vova, but a strong advocate family would certainly be a blessing as well.  Someone who could take Vova in to their home for a few weeks, and advocate for his placement in a family. 

Anyone interested in learning more about Vova can talk to the family that hosted him last year, and can also learn more from Redline United (http://www.redlineunited.org/).  He's a great little boy, dreaming of a family.  Can you help make that happen?

The 25th of June

Today is a very special day.  Today is Ruslan's 10th birthday...Happy Birthday Ruslan!!!!  And tomorrow he officially/legally becomes a member of the Kochies family!

This is my first time celebrating Ruslan's birthday....so I did what I usually do on Mason's birthday.  I find time during the day to look back to the actual birth and the times immediately before and after it.  For Mason's birthday, I remember the build-up of excitement as the day came and the feelings of joy and happiness that followed (and never left).  I can clearly remember Karen's face as she held Mason for the first time and the feeling of immense love that seemed to weave it's grip around us.  There will never will be a Mason's birthday where his daddy doesn't have happy tears because of these memories.

But I'll never have those memories with Ruslan.  And that's okay.  The thought that bothered me while I thought about what his birth was like was the fact that there wasn't any joy or happiness after he was born.  I'd like to think that there was excitement building-up to the birth, and that his mother talked to him and rubbed her stomach while she was pregnant, and that he felt loved.  But when he was actually born, there wasn't anyone that thought a miracle just happened.  No one celebrated this little boy.  We were told that Ruslan was given up for adoption most likely due to his cleft lip/palate.  It hurts to think of the disappoint his mother may have felt when she looked into his face for the first time.  I can't be sure that is accurate, I wasn't there.  But he wasn't taken home from the hospital.  He was left there for over a year until he was moved to an orphanage.  How can you feel the joy and love that usually come with a birth and then leave your baby at the hospital?  How can you leave him to be cared for by others....and never look back?  We were told that he's never had a visitor at the orphanage.  His mother willingly gave-up her parental rights.  It's not my place (and I don't want) to judge her.  I don't know what her circumstances were.  I only know what I've been told.  I say these things because they made me realize that no one celebrated his birth.  No one showed that little boy love while they held him close and looked into his face.  No one dreamed about what the rest of his life would bring.  And I hurt for him. 

But he can still do this:

If he can smile and give a thumbs-up then I can smile and give a thumbs-up too.  And I love him.  His mama and brother love him too.  So today we celebrated.  Maybe it took 10 years, but now there is a family that celebrates and is happy that he was born!  We're so happy that we're going to celebrate his birthday for a second time when we're all home together in July.

So after I had my philosophical moment, I felt pretty good.  I knew that from now on, this little boy's birthday will be a celebrated event.  Before Karen left the Ukraine, she and I had some ideas for his birthday.  We knew we'd bring him presents, but what about a cake?  How about a party?  What would he like?  We ultimately decided that we'd give him presents and a cake, but we wouldn't have a party.  The kids he's with now aren't from his old orphanage and he only seems to really enjoy the company of a select handful of the them.  When there is a bunch of them around, he doesn't handle it as well.  We didn't want his birthday to be chaos.

So before I left the house I checked and rechecked my list of things to bring (kinda like Santa with his list...see yesterday's blog).  I didn't want to forget anything.  I left the house with three bags and made the walk to the store.  At the store I had to find a way to cram all this stuff into two canvas bags that lock (they use these so that people don't put stuff they didn't pay for into their own bags).  It was difficult, but with the security man's help we managed.  I then picked out a cake and bought some candles.  I had what I needed.  I made the short walk over to the orphanage, but now I had four bags.  I definitely looked out of place.  I was a cross between a hiker (backpack) and a Black Friday shopper.

Once Ruslan saw me he knew I had presents for him and he was really excited to get outside.  We said our hellos and I gave him an awkward hug (the bags) and told him Happy Birthday!  We went outside to a secluded part of the grounds and set-up shop.  We watched a video from Mama and Mason wishing him a Happy Birthday (you can see his reaction below) and then had cake.  I feel bad because I could only get 1 candle to light...the wind was so strong.  I tried everything.  I tried to block the wind, go around the corner, go in a little hut...everything I could think of.  Finally, one of my blocking contraptions worked well enough to get that one candle lit.  But Ruslan didn't mind.  He blew out the one candle and then we had cake.  Actually, we had two pieces of cake each.  He wanted me to save the rest, but unfortunately between the 2 hour visit (which included a fall from the table) and the trip back to the apartment, the cake did not survive.  After cake he opened his presents.  We gave him two lego building sets which he loved.  We spent the last bit of time we had playing legos.  Near the end of the visit we had an unexpected guest.  Our driver came to wish Ruslan a Happy Birthday.  Ruslan really likes him and I personally think it was awesome that he came.  He's really good to Ruslan (and the other children too).  Ruslan smiles a lot as it is, but today the smile never left his face (actually, it did...only when he was putting cake into his mouth).  It seemed to get bigger and bigger.  He really had a great time....and so did I!  I'm glad I was able to celebrate with him and I'm looking forward to the many birthday celebrations to come.

Happy Birthday Ruslan!

Here are some pictures from today:

Merry Christmas (In June?!?)

So, the last two days have been pretty much par for the course.  Nothing different to report on the mornings, the walks to and from the orphanage, or the after-visit suppers.  But, Ruslan and I started a new topic of conversation yesterday at the orphanage which we repeated and continued today.  The topic, which I'm pretty sure has become one of Ruslan's favorites, is.........(please read the following word with a whispered voice)..........Santa.

It all started yesterday while we were sitting at our table doing some crafts.  Ruslan really likes to hum or sing while he does crafts/writes/colors/plays/walks/you get the point.  His song-of-choice had been a song he created where he sings (or occassionally hums) "Daniel Ruslan Kochies" to different rhythms and notes.  Yesterday, without warning, the song was different.  He was humming something I'd heard before.  Something from my past.  Something that I couldn't quite put a name to.  Then it hit me.  It was Jingle Bells.  I probably should have realized it earlier, but the place I was in...and the company I was with...and the time of year...just didn't add up.  I went out on a limb and started singing the words while he hummed the melody.  This immediatly caused him to stop what he was doing, look up at me, and smile.  Then he started bobbing his head to the beat while we performed our song.  He even took over lead vocals anytime the words "Jingle Bells" came up.  Somehow this international Christmas song spurred a conversation about Santa.  Ruslan told me that he knows of Santa from watching TV and that Santa does not visit the orphanage.  Then I told him that Santa visits our house in America.  Holy cow.....what a reaction!  He was PUMPED (yes, all capital letters!).  I drew a picture of a Christmas tree and a fireplace and drew a line where Santa would walk back and forth.  Ruslan laughed and had fun describing how he'd wait up to see Santa.  Then he asked me if I've ever seen him.  I told him I hadn't and that he wouldn't either because Santa only comes when you're sleeping.  He then pretended to be sleeping, then he pretended to wake up and walk down the stairs into the living room.  Then he pointed to the drawing of the tree (with presents underneath) and made his "binocular eyes" with his hands.  (He uses these to let me know that he sees something he likes).  He then told me that he wants a present from Santa.  When I said Santa will bring him a present, he asked for 11....and then he asked for 100 presents.  I told him he couldn't have that many because Santa's bag isn't that big....they won't fit.  We covered other topics related to Santa like the cookies, and the chimney, and even covered the broader topic of Christmas itself.  He really likes the idea of getting presents, but I was really surprised because he likes the idea of giving presents just as much.  When he asked me if all the presents would be his, I told him no...they'll have tags with people's names on them.  I drew a picture of a tag with "to" and "from" on it and he wrote out pretend tags for Mama, Papa, Mason (btw he only writes Mason's name in Russian) and even one for babushka and dedushka (grandma and grandpa).  I was impressed.  We pretty much repeated this conversation again today (with no less enthusiasm), but this time he took the role of drawing the Christmas tree.  That is one boy that is already excited about Christmas.  I wonder when he'll want to start counting down the days until then.  That reminds me, how many shopping days are left until Christmas?

If you've read our previous blog posts, you'll probably remember the lady that climbs over the orphanage fence.  I'm pleased to report that today she wasn't alone.  Your first thought might be: did she take a kid with her?  Nope.  Another (grown) woman decided to hop the fence with her (and when I say "hop" I mean slowly, yet skillfully, climb....there is absolutely no "hop" about it).  Ruslan and I got a kick out of this.  Anytime I looked away out of fear of being caught gawking, Ruslan would say "Papa" and point at them.  I was relieved when they were both over the fence and safely on the ground on the other side because I really didn't want them to see us watching them...especially with one of us pointing.

Tomorrow is Ruslan's birthday and I just finished wrapping his presents.  Unfortunately, I couldn't find wrapping paper at the store so I had to buy a couple of notebooks and some tape.  I wrapped each present twice because the pictures showed through the white paper...hopefully they won't be too hard to open.  I'm also going to bring a special treat for him to eat and Karen and Mason were able to record a happy birthday message for him.  I hope that our little party will be special to him.  Tomorrow is also the last day of our 10-day waiting period.  Then we can get the final ball rolling and put the finishing touches on this process and get him home to have a proper birthday cake with his whole family.  His brother's birthday is on the 28th so we may have to have 2 cakes!  And then we can start counting down the days until Christmas.

Internet was down.....but we're back!

Sorry folks....the internet was down and I haven't been able to post in a bunch of days.  And.....not much has changed.  I'm still doing the wake-up, eat, watch TV, visit the orphanage, eat at the store, walk home, watch more TV, and go to sleep routine.  Now that the internet is working again, I'll probably throw some internet into the mix as well....just not sure where to fit it in?!?  There has been some improvement on the TV though, I found another movie station that plays some English language movies with (you guessed it) Arabic subtitles...and there is a German station that plays about 30% of the EuroCup games.  I've even caught myself doing some English commentary alongside the German.  I think mine is better, but I don't understand the German so it's hard to tell.

My time with Ruslan each day has been awesome.  He greets me with a hug and kiss....and a HUGE smile!  And then it's time to go to "our" table.  We've been getting better at communicating with each other, especially when we talk about the trip home and what we'll do when we get there.  He's really, really, really excited to have pizza and ice cream and to go swimming.  He's already indicated that he doesn't want to wear any floatation devices, but I disagreed with him (we'll see how that goes...he can't swim on his own yet).  We've been practicing writing his name in preparation for school and also writing out the names of the members of our family.  Without fail, whenever he writes "papa" in English he giggles and points to me and says "rara" (the "p" in Russian is pronounced like "r").  Just a little game we play.  The other big topic of our conversation is his birthday....which he is REALLY excited about (btw..it's on Monday... and he'll be 10).  Monday also happens to be the last day of the waiting period.  The timing is pretty awesome....Happy Birthday! Welcome to our family!  Actually, Tuesday will be the official day, but close enough!  Don't tell him, but Karen and I got him a couple of lego toys for his birthday.  He seems to really like to put them together, and take them apart, and put them back together.  From what I've seen, Ruslan has also been doing really good with the other kids in his group.  Depending on who his caregiver is for the day, sometimes other kids are allowed to visit and play with us.  When that happens, Ruslan has been able to share his stuff, talk and laugh with them, run and play, and be really nice to the kids.  On these days, which are the exception rather than the norm, we usually spend about an hour by ourselves before the other kids come over.  Then they hang out with us for about 30 minutes and then he usually has so much fun that he wants to run off and play with them rather than stay at our table.  So, he usually asks me to leave right around 5:30...which I'm happy to do.  He really has a good time with them and I don't want to hold him back from running and playing...he's a 10 year-old boy.  I usually hang back for a couple of minutes and watch him play....it's good to see him be a kid with other kids.  Most of the time I see him at the orphanage he's sitting at a table or playing with me....which just isn't the same.  Before he lets me go, he always checks to make sure that I'll be back the next day at 4:00 p.m.  With that assurance, he's able to let his mind focus on being a kid.

друг (droog) - Russian for friend

Yesterday was Father's Day.  And it started out like most days here.  I woke up, had breakfast, and watched some old shows on the TV....yesterday it was old episodes of Bones (usually it's The Shield...so that was a relief)....and yes, Bones was subtitled in Arabic right in the middle of the screen.  After a couple of weeks you don't even notice them that much.  I walked to the orphanage and was sweating when I got there.  It was really hot.  Ruslan was happy to see me.  He got dressed, had his snack, and we were off to our table in the backyard.  While he was eating his banana and drinking his juice, I was proud to show him that I remembered the glue stick (which I had forgotten the day before).  This promoted the idea of doing some crafts.  He dug through the plastic shopping bag (that I use to tote all of our supplies in) looking for some crayons.  Then he remembered that he kept them over night and went upstairs to grab them.  When he came back, he dumped the box on the table and only 3 crayons came out.  A red, a blue, and two pieces of yellow.  He then motioned to me that the other kids had broken the other crayons and got really upset.  After I assured him that it was okay, and that we can get more crayons, he started to color with what we had.  It took a little over 45 minutes for him to start to cheer up again.  Just as we were starting to talk and joke with each other, a really nice Ukranian bird decided to drop the old #2 on my shirt.  It wasn't a big one, but enough to get his point across.  I chuckled a bit, but Ruslan was all business.  He dug into the plastic bag and grabbed the baby wipes we use to clean the table/hands/faces, etc. and handed me one to clean my shirt.  Someone once told me that when a bird poops on you it's supposed to be good luck.  I never thought so, but I'm starting to believe it.  The rest of the visit was very good.  He cheered up and was able to joke and play like nothing happened.  When I left, he was in a really good mood and so was I.

I walked to the store and ate my standard meal (stuffed cabbage and either rice/mashed potatoes) but had to fight a little with the lady who served me.  She really wanted to put sour cream on my cabbage, but I didn't want her to.  She kept insisting, but in the end, I won and was able to eat my cabbage w/out the room temperature sour cream.  I picked-up some crayons, a box of molding clay, and a backpack for Ruslan.  Karen and I wanted him to have something to put his activities in for the plane ride and I didn't want to carry the plastic bag back and forth anymore.  When I got home I was able to skype with Mason and Karen for Father's Day as well as my father, mother, and grandma.  It was my mom's birthday so Happy Birthday Mom!

This morning was pretty much a repeat of yesterday (they actually showed the same episodes of Bones...which I watched again).  The big difference was that I packed all of our supplies in the backpack instead of the plastic bag =].  I'll admit, it was a lot easier to carry on the walk.  Ruslan was so excited to see the bag.  With a big smile on his face, he asked if it was mine.  I told him it was his and then he giggled as his smile got bigger.  He put his shoes on quickly because he wanted to get outside to investigate it.  Once outside, he dug through every compartment and laughed when he found the wipes in their own little pouch.  He ate his banana and drank his juice.  When the other kids came outside, he called over to a little girl who he really hasn't gotten along with.  While she was on her way, he looked up at me and asked it it was okay.  I said sure.  When she got there, he showed her his bag and let her color with his new crayons.  He was playing with his stickers, and even though I don't know any Russian, I'm positive he told her that they were a gift from his mama.  When the teacher saw the girl at our table, she called her back to the group.  With some protest from her and Ruslan, she got up and left.  We played for a little while and then he took out the camera.  He called back to the girl and to her friend and they both came over.  They played really well together and even let me take a couple of pictures of the three of them.  When the teacher called the girls back, Ruslan asked if I could leave and come back tomorrow at 4:00 p.m.  I said sure and packed up our stuff.  We said our goodbyes and as I was walking out I could see Ruslan playing with the two girls again, all three of them were really happy.  Although our visit was shorter than normal, it was really good to see him making an effort to be friendly with the other children from the orphanage.  From what we'd seen up until now, and what the orphanage workers have described, Ruslan has been an orphan within the orphanage.  Today, however, he has friends.  And a family.  So long for the "orphan" title.....it no longer applies.

Message For Mama

I tried to stay awake last night until Karen made it home but I failed.  I fell asleep on the couch.  At some point I must have moved to the bed because that's where my day started.  I had some breakfast while my computer started up and then I logged onto facebook to get an update on Karen's travels.  What a relief it was to see that she made it home....finally!  It was about 5 a.m. EST (too early to skype Karen and Mason) so I killed time by reading and watching old episodes of The Shield (one of the only English speaking shows I could find...however it did have arabic subtitles across the middle of the screen).  Still, better than the close second-place choice of old tennis matches that I've already seen 3-4 times on ESPN Classic Europe.

And then...finally.  I received a message from Karen and Mason.  It was so good....no it was GREAT... to skype with them.  Even though their video wasn't working it really sunk in that she made it home and they're together.  Mason sounded so happy to be with his mama again.  Boy do I miss them.

At 8:45 a.m. EST I started my uneventful walk to the orphanage.  Today I wasn't so lucky with the guard at the gate.  My fear came true when he popped out of the door to his building and asked me something in Russian.  I did the only thing I had rehearsed.  I said Ruslan's name.  Then he said something else (or maybe the same thing) so I repeated Ruslan's name again.  This seemed to work.  He nodded his head and I was in.  This time when I walked into the room upstairs Ruslan and the other children were just waking up from their nap and sitting down for snack.  I waited and watched as he ate a piece of bread (which actually looked really good) and drank something from his cup.  He cleaned up his space and brought his dishes to the sink.  Warning: Proud Papa moment...From around the corner I heard him say Spaseba (thank-you) to the woman who put out the snack.  What a good job!  I'd like to say that I taught him that, but I think that was all on his own.  He went to his cubby and got dressed and we went outside.

It was a beautiful day today.  The wind was blowing and the sun was out, but not overpowering.  We sat at our table, he had his daily banana and juice, and then we got down to business.  He pulled out the scissors and started cutting paper to glue onto other sheets of paper.  That's when we discovered that I left the glue stick back at the apartment.  He took this in stride and decided that he'd rather play with the camera anyway.  He found two functions on the camera that he really likes, the video camera feature and the voice recorder.  He really likes to sing while he's working with crafts or drawing or writing so I took a video of him singing a song.  Then he made a special video for his mama.  I knew he wanted to do it because he handed me the camera.  9 out of 10 times once he gets his hands on it, he doesn't like to let it go.  Karen, if you're reading this, this is for you:

We really got along great today.  He didn't try to kick me out at 5 p.m. and was really happy the whole time.  He still gets a little defensive when some of the kids want to play with my watch, but once he says his peace (it's in Russian so I'm not sure what exactly his peace is) he's fine with them being around.  We walked around the orphanage building while he took pictures and joked with each other about what the other one would eat.  Supposedly he won't eat snails but he says that I will.  We talked about swimming in America.  He's really excited about doing that and eating ice cream and pizza....yes we talked about ice cream and pizza again.  They are a real love of his.  We said our goodbyes and he double-checked that I'd be there between 4 and 6 p.m. tomorrow.  Once that was confirmed he was more than happy to go back with his group.  On the way out I saw the gaurd and told him I'd be back tomorrow (a little preemptive strike).  He smiled and nodded so we'll see what happens.

I walked to the store and had my usual, a soup, a plate of stuffed cabbage, and another plate of curry rice.  For some reason they will not put the two of these on the same plate.  If I get rice and chicken, they put them together....but not the rice and cabbage.  Anyway, it's fine with me.  I just feel funny carrying a tray with two plates and a bowl.  The lady that helped me asked where my wife was and then pretended she was sleeping....we do a lot of charades.  At first I thought that we eat there way too often because the people that work there know us by sight...but then I had a pretty nice thought, I realized that there are now three people here that miss Karen already.

Court Is Behind Us

Hello everyone, it's Bill.  If you've been reading our blog then you know that my wife is extremely gifted when it comes to writing....so I've been a little intimidated knowing that I would assume the blogging privelage when she left the Ukraine.  She is now on her way to the US, and I'm here in the Ukraine, so it's time to face my fears, roll up my sleaves, and get to working.  Big deep breath....here we go.

Today is the day after our court hearing, and the first full day that Ruslan is officially, unofficially part of our family (can't wait for the 10 day waiting period to be over - then it's official!).  Karen left yesterday for the US so it's been a lonely night and morning.  I've been able to pass the time by checking her flight status constantly.  It was fun crossing departures and arrivals off on my sheet as they happened, but the fun went away when I saw that her second flight from Germany to Washington DC was over 3 hours delayed...which meant that she would miss her final flight to RDU.  I knew I couldn't do anything from here, but I worried and worried and worried.  At 3:45 p.m. Ukraine time I pried myself from the computer and walked the 30 minutes to the orphanage.

I was nervous to go without our driver to escort me into the building, but it worked out perfect.  I was able to get in quickly without any problems (usually there is a man at the guard building).   When I got upstairs to where Ruslan's group stays, the door was open and I could see Ruslan sitting at a table putting together a lego fire truck that we had brought for him.  He heard me at the door, turned around, and said, "Papa, where is mama" and before I could answer he said (with a huge smile on his face), "in America!"  Then he started to laugh because he knew the answer before I did.  At this point his teacher told me that he needed to eat snack before he could leave.  He sat down, took two bites of something from a bowl, made a yuck face at me, and then gathered his truck and we went outside.  We sat down at a table and had our daily banana and Sandora (which is the brand name of a juice that he LOVES).  Also, I gave him a couple of departing gifts from his, now legally recognized, Mama.  One was a package of stickers and the other was a chocolate egg with a prize inside.  Before he opened either of them he said "thank you Mama" toward the sky with a big smile on his face and a little bow that he does when he askes permission or says thank you.  He gobbled up the chocolate, got some on his lips, closed his eyes and said "num, num."  He then tanked some more Sandora and asked me to help him put together his fire truck.  While I got to work on that, he started to look through the photo album we brought to be used in court.  There is a picture of our house and he likes to point to each window and tell me which rooms they are.  He giggles when he gets to the bathroom and smiles when he gets to his room.  Then he bursts into singing "Oh Happy Day" at an increased volume.  I was surprised because he usually doesn't want anyone to hear him, but today it seems that he's thrown caution to the wind...his voice is loud and proud.

After his group finished snack they came outside to where we were sitting.  His teacher asked us to move to another area of the playground...so we did.  They either like to give us space for our comfort or keep us from the other children to keep the chaos down for their comfort...or a little of both...I haven't been able to decide.  But alone at our new table, we are able to chit chat in the "he speaks Russian and I speak English" way that we've grown comfortable with.  He jokes with me and asks why I didn't go back to America and Mama stay with him...at least I think he's joking because he starts to giggle after he says it.  Then, after getting a frown face from me, he rolls with it and says that I can leave at 5:00 p.m. today (usually we stay until 6:00 p.m.) which gets another frown face.  He giggles and then holds up 10 fingers saying that he wants me to stay until 10.  He leans in for a hug and he get one.  He's a great kid and has an awesome sense of humor.  For all that he's been through, it's really good to see that he can still have a place inside him filled with fun, love, and happiness.

We spent the rest of the time playing frisbee (I think we each took 3 throws), playing with the legos, and alternating between the songs of "Oh Happy Day" and a new one that he started singing today titled "Daniel Ruslan Kochies."  (Oh, by the way, don't try to transliterate Daniel Ruslan Kochies into Russian....he wants no part of that.  He clearly stated that we'll be writing it in English from now on).  This new song is sung by repeatedly singing Daniel Ruslan Kochies in different notes to different beats.  Throughout the visit today I can't help but notice how happy he is.  And he also seems relieved.  I truely believe that he understands what happened at court yesterday.  He now has a family.  Just like he wished for during a project at the orphanage.  Just like he hoped and dreamed.  He has a mama, a papa, a brother, two dogs, a stray cat, a frog, and a tank full of fish.  That's a lot to love....and he has the heart to do it.  Before I left he asked me to lift him high in the air (which he asks for everyday).  And then he asked for another, and another.  On the last one, he wrapped his legs around me so I couldn't put him down.  Then he gave me at least 15 kisses on my cheeck and head.  I gave him some in return.  Then we said our dasvidaniyas and he went with his group and I left the orphanage.

I was nervous about today.  It was my first solo flight here in the Ukraine and I didn't have Karen with me.  But all-in-all I think it went really well.  When I sat down to eat at the restaurant in the "Walmart" a music video came on the televisions mounted on the wall.  It was Karen's favorite song in the Ukraine...."TaCaTa".  And I thought of her.  And I knew that everything was going to be alright.

Details To Come......

I've got a plane to catch, so no time to blog! Details to come of our (several) delayed court hearings today, and the final one that made Ruslan our boy! 

Marking Time......

We'll eventually be turning this blog in to a book, so I want to save this space for the post I am too exhausted to write!  It will include details of why you shouldn't wear flip flops with tights, a night out in Odessa (including why you never want to sit near Bill in an Opera House!), why our driver is the most awesome, a visit to the Golden Arches, how not to get through border patrol, and why we chose to stay up ALL night the night before our adoption court hearing.  Good times! 

DISCLAIMER: Bill will be blogging from now on since I am heading to Kiev and then home.  I did give him a tutorial, but I bear no responsibility for what shows up on this page from here on out! ; )

Court Is In Session.....Soon!

So I prayed last night before bed.  Not for a positive court outcome.  Not for speedy resolution.  In fact, I didn't have one petition for God.  I just told Him (after being spurred on by my devotional yesterday!) that I humbly put myself in His hands.  That I would accept whatever timeline He put before me, and stop trying to make it suit my needs.  And I thanked Him for the amazing blessings he has given us.  It was good to just lay it all at His feet because I have been pretty impatient awaiting news of when we would finally get to court. 

We haven't done much sightseeing here because for one, we wanted to keep the budget costs low and extra trips with the driver mean extra money.  Additionally, we respected the fact that the facilitator (and even the driver!) were busy running papers all around Ukraine for us trying to get things done.  We finally got stir crazy enough to want to go see the water we could vaguely make out when looking at the horizon from the orphanage, so we did go see the harbor the other day. 

But, ever since we first stopped in Odessa and the driver pointed out the Odessa Opera House, I have been mini-dreaming of being able to go to a performance there.  I love all things theater, drama and performance and it is supposed to be a breathtakingly beautiful building.  But I didn't dare ask.  First, I thought the cost would be astronomical and then of course all the reasons we mentioned above were on my mind as well. 

Out of curiosity I looked online, and noticed that there was a ballet showing tonight at the Opera House AND that the tickets were dirt cheap!!! (Even the good seats!)  So I mustered up the courage to ask if we could go.  Okay...not true...I mustered up the courage to e-mail our Advocate for Orphans contact in California and ask HIM if it would be okay if we asked to go.  HE gave me the courage to ask.

So, I called our facilitator and said, "Bill and I were wondering if we could go into Odessa tomorrow night." In a deadpan serious voice he said, "Why?".....to which I explained we would like to go to the Opera House to see the ballet.  I told him we felt like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity and it is supposed to be one of the most beautiful buildings in the world (to which he kind of chuckled....it is probably how we feel when people are amazed at some sight that we have access to every day and is just second nature for us!) We even offered to include the driver (so he wouldn't have to sit there bored, and since tickets are dirt cheap!) To this he said, "I assure you he is not interested!"  And then the thought of our burly driver sitting in the ballet gave us a good giggle.  But he said he would think about it and let us know.  As a precaution, we told Ruslan that we wouldn't be visiting today (better to say that and end up coming after all, than to leave him thinking we are coming and then not show up!), but that we would be back on Thursday, which he understood.  The first thing he asked us is if we were going to Odessa to go swimming!!! (Cracks us up...this kid loves the ocean and I think it just might have broken his heart to hear we were going swimming without him!) We explained that no, we were going with our driver and facilitator.  Then he gestured filling out paperwork, asking if we were going to get paperwork done.  (He knows our facilitator has been away in Kiev, busy getting things done so that is what he associates him with.) Well, neither Bill nor I knew the word for "ballet" in Russian, and after the elephant escapade, neither one of us was too keen on acting out some ballet moves.  So we just said yes, as it was something he could easily understand.  And, it was in part true because our facilitator is bringing the permission from the SDA to have court.  So we left it at that, and he was okay with it.  He kept his lego firetruck to work on while we're away, and we told him we would see him on Thursday...just in case!

So we were kind of excited, but we have learned not to get our hopes up around here because that way when things do pan out, we can be pleasantly surprised! So we went on about our day, and then Sasha called later that night and said he thought it would "not be a bad idea" if we went in to Odessa, but that we would need to wait and see how things went this morning in Kiev with the permission for court.  He said if we DID go we'd probably need to be ready around 2 or 3pm.

So we watched some movies, Skyped a little, checked our e-mail, had a snack, and eventually went to bed.  When we got up this morning (which was really afternoon since we've kept ourselves on American time!) We both showered and started getting ready.  And then it occurred to us, we didn't really know what we were getting ready for!  We weren't sure if we'd be going to the ballet or not...so we kind of chuckled about that and said, well....we might just look REALLY nice for our orphanage visit today!  Then my husband, ever the romantic, says, "If we don't go to the ballet, I'm taking you out to a NICE dinner at the Wal-Mart"...and we both got a laugh out of that. 

We are sitting in the living room, dressed up with maybe no place to go, and we are watching the time go by.  And 2:00 comes, and 3:00 comes, and Bill looks at me and says, "So...what are you going to pick for dinner at the store?"  No word from our facilitator at this point so we both think it's a safe bet we're going on our regular orphanage visit at 4:15p.  Then, at 3:24, our facilitator calls.  He tells us that the driver will be picking us up at 4:30p to go to Odessa for the ballet.  And he says he got the permission for court.  And he says court is tomorrow! And I am screaming in the background, "You rock Sasha!" as Bill is thanking him on the phone.  And the he hangs up.  And he is crying.  And I am jumping around and screaming and jumping some more.  And then we both thank God.  And then I am crying, realizing Ruslan will (Lord willing!) be our son tomorrow.  And then we are both hugging and crying.  And then we think it is the perfect night to celebrate by going on a date night to the ballet.  And it works out perfectly because our facilitator needs to come through Odessa anyway to get here for court so he'll be meeting us there.  And we are reminded, yet again, that God's timing is always perfect. 

And tomorrow we will be going to court to ask them to grant us the privilege of bringing Ruslan home to our family.  And Friday I am flying home to my other little boy, who has been anxiously awaiting my return.  And we'll have the weekend together to reconnect, and go to church, and get back to normal.  And in a few weeks, that plane will land in RDU with Bill and Ruslan on it.  And the minute it touches down, Ruslan will be a United States citizen.  And our family will be home together. Under one roof. Growing and learning together, and ready to face a whole new adventure.  We are just two broken people, nowhere near worthy of these amazing blessings, and so humbled at the feet of an awesome God who made this all possible, will the help of some unforgettable people who were willing to be His hands and feet.  Thank you, from the bottom of our hearts.

A Message Meant For Me!

If Bill wasn't sitting there to witness it, I am not sure anyone would believe me.  But God had a mighty message for me today!  We had a few minutes to wait before our driver arrived to bring us to the orphanage.  So I sat down with my "Mom's Devotional Bible" and prayed for God to speak to me through scripture in that moment.  Then I randomly opened to a page.  And boy did He have a message for me!  The Devotional was titled, "What Are You Waiting For?" and the passage reference was Psalm 40:1-5.  (Also referenced Psalm 130:5-6 and Jude 20). 

Here is what it said (I underlined the parts that were particularly impacting to me!): "We wait for everything.  For the dryer to finish.  For our husbands to get home.  For the phone to ring.  For the baby to wake.  For the mail to come.  For a car to pull up, returning our child safely home.  For a job.  For answers to prayer.

With so much experience, we're remarkably unskilled at waiting well.  Waiting seems to us a colossal waste of time. 

But the fact is that while we are waiting, God is working.  To move us where he wants us to be.  To readjust the lives of others so that his ultimate desires will be fulfilled.  To bring about what will make us eventually Christlike, though not necessarily immediately comfortable. 

What are you waiting for? And more to the point, how well are you waiting for it?"

Well shoot.  If that's not conviction, I don't know what is!  I have been waiting ever not so patiently! I definitely received this message loud and clear today! Maybe it's a message for you too?  Is there something....someone...you've been waiting on?  Is there something you are immediately uncomfortable in, that God is using in a big way to get you where He wants you to be? 

I know there is a reason the Lord has delayed our stay here, and instead of being impatient, I can seek His will and His purpose.  If it is His will for me to leave on Friday, then it will be.  If not, then He knew that all along, and it is all part of His perfect plan!  Trying to rest in that tonight!

Another good visit with Ruslan today.  I love looking back over this blog and seeing the stories and all the detail.  It will be great to look back on when we are at a point that the overall trip stays with us in memory but the details are hard to recall.  Unfortunately, that makes for some long reading for you, so feel free to skim!

When we arrived, he was walking around outside the orphanage by himself, with a ball.  (We are not exactly sure why!)  He was happy to see us though, and had a quick snack before wanting to get back to his firetruck and helicopter.  He decided to take the firetruck apart and build it again!  He is really enjoying those legos!

At one point, Yana came over and Ruslan said that she could sit with us.  Then, the caregiver came over to tell Yana to leave, but Yana explained that Ruslan had told her she could stay.  The caregiver then asked Ruslan if it would be okay for her to build legos with Ruslan.  He immediately got a scowl on his face and said, "No!"  I explained that it would be okay, and that Yana wanted to be his friend, and that even if she built the legos with us, they would still be his to keep.  So, he was okay then with her joining us. 

He said that he wanted to work on the firetruck with Bill, and Yana and I could work on the helicopter.  So we started, but Yana is younger and doesn't seem to understand our language of English with charades gestures quite as well as Ruslan, so she wasn't exactly building the helicopter according to the directions.....which didn't exactly make Ruslan happy!  He got angry that she was doing it "wrong" and told her she couldn't play any more.  So Yana (who we have seen to be tremendously emotional, easily hurt, and often sulking) walked away crying.  I explained to Ruslan that Yana was sad.  He watched her for a moment, kind of taking it in, and you could see there was empathy there though he didn't quite know what to do with it.  I explained to Ruslan that it's okay if Yana does it the wrong way, and that once she goes back to playing with the children, he and I can "fix" the helicopter the right way.  I asked him if that would be okay?  He said that, yes, it would.  I encouraged him to go invite her back to play.  He gestured that he wanted me to tell her.  So I called out to her saying, "Yana....Kirin says it's okay to play!"  Well, he promptly informed me not to call him Kirin, please! (That's his last name, and nearly everyone at the orphanage refers to him as that, so I just figured it was the easiest way for her to know who I was talking about, and I figured it was okay with him since they all do it!  But he is CLEARLY not a fan, and prefers to be called by his first name!!!)  Yana had no idea what I was saying, so we compromised on going together to talk to her.  By the time we got to her, the teacher was trying to keep Yana from us, and Yana was full-fledged sobbing.  Ruslan told her that it would be okay to come back, so she took a few choked-up breaths to calm herself down, and she walked back to the table with Bill.  I thanked the caregiver, and told her it was good for Ruslan to see that they could play together. 

And, before we went back to the table I praised Ruslan like nobody's business, and he was smiling and excited.  I thanked him for being a friend to Yana, and I told him I was so proud of him for sharing with her.  I again reassured him that we would put the helicopter back together the right way when she left, and that the legos were his to keep.  (For days he has been gesturing that those legos are NOT staying at the orphanage, but rather coming home to his "bedroom in America"!)  Once Yana finished her legos, she was looking at Bill's watch.  Ruslan wanted to see it too, so he grabbed it out of her hand.  We had him give it back, and then explained that if he wants to see it he can say please.  So, he said "please" in English (since he would rather use English words than Russian lately!)  We praised him for doing such a good job asking first instead of grabbing, and then explained to Yana that Ruslan had said please.  So she let him look at it and we reminded him when he was done he needed to give it back to Yana, which he did with no problem!

He looked genuinely pleased with himself, and it was so nice to see him getting over the hurdle of sharing and letting other people in.  He even asked if we could give a chocolate egg to Yana!  I explained that the caregivers wouldn't let us, but praised him for being so thoughtful and kind. (Apparently Yana is "in" now!) I told him we could instead bring stickers for Yana and the other children.  He was actually excited, and gestured handing them out to everyone.  We'll be sure to pack those stickers for our next visit!

It was cute because at one point Bill was helping Yana fix the helicopter, and I was working with Ruslan on the firetruck.  Ruslan looked over and saw that Bill was helping Yana put pieces on in the right places (she had asked him for help, but Ruslan didn't realize that.)  Ruslan said, "Papa....no, Papa!" and was gesturing to let her do it her own way, and that when Yana leaves, we can "fix" it!  It really made Bill and I smile to see his practical application of his new found ability to be tolerant of someone else.  The caregiver came to check on us, and seemed very pleased that everything was going so nicely.  Ruslan played happily with Yana for the rest of the time, until she felt she had enough and happily went on her way.  (He did, however, check her hands when she left to be sure she didn't abscond with any lego pieces.  He was relieved to see it was just a tiny crabapple in her hand!)

At one point, Ruslan was getting frustrated when the firetruck kept breaking apart when he was trying to click a piece on.  He gave up and threw the firetruck back in to the box, obviously exasperated.  I said, "Ruslan, nyet" which means no.  At this point he was crying, and had clearly worked himself up.  I explained that it's okay to be frustrated, but that we can take a deep breath and ask for help.  Then I modeled asking Papa for some help to fix the firetruck, and that made Ruslan feel a lot better.  Bill was able to get the firetruck back together until there were only a few more pieces to go on and then Ruslan happily finished the rest.  We know it will take these real life teachable moments to develop skills in him that no one has taken the time to teach.  (Coping, sharing, empathy, etc.)  We see the fruits of each lesson in small ways every day, and we can tell they will have a compound effect.  We feel blessed to be able to bring empowerment, and new skills to a little boy who has become a master at defensiveness, isolation, self-deprication and not trusting others.  It is honestly so amazing to see his receptivity to each new skill, and to see him literally blossom before our eyes.  He's like a garden that no one has tended in almost ten years, and now that the sunshine and the water are coming in, we can look through the weeds and see the tender green shoots sprouting up.  Glad we'll be around to watch this garden blossom.  (And totally mindful that there will be many weeds popping up along the way!)

The girl that was eating the trees yesterday came up to us today.  (Which apparently she isn't supposed to because Ruslan and Yana were turning her around and trying to get her to go back to the group, and then finally a caregiver came to get her!)  Before the caregiver came though, Yana just walks up to the girl, lifts up her shirt, lowers the waistband of her pants about an inch and shows us that she is wearing a diaper.  Then Yana and Ruslan begin to giggle.  The girl seems oblivious, and it appeared to Bill and I that she isn't able to talk.  I explain to Yana and Ruslan that it's okay, and that we don't want to laugh at her because we could make her sad.  They both then started explaining again that she isn't supposed to be there...and that's when the caregiver took her away.  Each of these children has a story.  The girl who eats the trees...Yana....Maksim...Vitalik....and more.  As I interact with each of them, I find myself wondering what their story is.  Do they have a family?  Were they taken away or given up?  Have they just gotten here, or been here since birth like Ruslan? I'll never know.  But I hope I can be a source of light and hope to them.  And I know I can remind them that they are special, that God loves them, and that they are smart and beautiful on the inside and out. 

And lo and behold, as we are finishing up the legos, here comes the fence jumping lady.  And Ruslan is just cracking up, and hurries to get the camera so he can snap a photo of her in action.  And he is literally cheering when he gets a shot of her approaching the fence, and then even more giddy when he captures a perfect shot of her halfway over the fence.  And I know I shouldn't, but I laugh too.  Because it's funny to see this woman hoisting herself over the fence.  And it's funny that Ruslan thinks it's funny.  And when you've been here this long you just get punchy.  So, laughing along with the fence climbing lady's fiasco is not one of my prouder parenting moments, what can I say!? And here for your viewing pleasure is a picture of the fence jumper, and one of my husband, both compliments of Ruslan!

                                                                       

You Just Never Know......

   

....what you're gonna' get at the orphanage each day!  Today we showed up to see Ruslan, and they were eating snack.  So we sat down to wait, and some time later Ruslan came out to get dressed.  He had just gotten his clothing out of his locker when the orphanage caregiver opened the door and called him back in to the room.  I could tell by her look and voice that she wasn't happy!  I looked at our driver and said, "Uh-oh!"  He told us that Ruslan didn't eat his snack! Apparently he was so excited to see us that he didn't touch his snack.  He must have wolfed it down because he was back out in no time flat!

He was VERY excited to finish the decals on his firetruck today.  It came out awesome, and we brought him a little fire helicopter to go with it. 

Test flight for the fire helicopter!

Opening the chocolate egg!

Bill also picked out some little egg shaped thing in the grocery store yesterday.  It is called a Kinder egg, and it is similar to ones that used to be available in the US, but when you open this one it has two sides.  One side has chocolate that you eat with this little plastic spoon that comes with it, and the other side has a little mini toy.  Ruslan was so excited to try it, and it was a hit!  We'll definitely be bringing a few home for theboys to keep in the treat cabinet!     

Some lady hiked herself over the orphanage fence again today to cut through to wherever she needed to get.  The first time this happend, Ruslan was smiling a knowing smile when he observed my, "What in the world?" reaction to seeing someone climbing IN to the orphanage!! He held up one finger as if to say, "Wait a minute Mama, watch this!"  I guess it cracked him up a little too that this woman would climb the fence and come in to the orphanage.  Once she landed with a thud, he was giggling!

I am rarely surprised anymore by what I see at the orphanage.  At this point I think we both pretty much have an "anything goes" kind of attituded.  But we were certainly surprised today when we saw a little girl eating a tree.  Yes, that's right.  EATING A TREE.  I don't mean eating berries off a tree.  Or even peeling the bark and eating it, which would be odd enough.  I mean she was reaching up and pulling a branch down to where she could reach it, and she was eating it.  Chewing leaves and branch, whatever she could get.  And, while the tree eating is happening, a little boy pulls down his pants and urinates right out in the open in the play area.  We saw the tree-eating girl a little later, and it definitely seemed like there were some other developmental issues going on with her, so I felt like that helped explain a little bit.  I am wondering if maybe this orphanage is a temporary stop for her on the way to somewhere that can provide the more intense care and supervision it seems she requires.  I did notice an orphanage worker occasionally run after her, or try to redirect her. But it didn't seem like enough.  Praying she gets some support.

Vitalik has been stopping by our table every day to play with the buttons on Bill's watch.  He is just the cutest little blond boy, and he delights in pressing those buttons! (Apparently, he has figured out how to set an alarm on there that Bill didn't even know he had!) 

Then, some neighbors of the orphanage had a fire going in their yard, and when Ruslan saw that he was bound and determined to get a photo! When he asked me if he could take a picture, I mistakenly thought he meant from where we were, so I handed him the camera.  Well, he took off running for the fence around the orphanage so he could get a better shot!  But the barking of a very loud and very mean sounding dog stopped him mid stride.  And then he paused there for a moment, seemingly to evaluate the risk the dog might pose, the strength of the fence barrier between them, and if it was worth the gamble.  Well, for the love of the art, Ruslan proceeded anyway trying to get a good shot of that fire!  He actually climbed up on the fence to try and get a really good shot! (This kid has a future in the paparazzi!)  I wasn't sure the caregiver would like him climbing up there, so I called to him to get down.  He came running back with the camera, all smiles.  The shot wasn't too clear as the fire was a bit far away and had died down some, so he asked me if I could drive by it on my way out to get a better shot.  I told him we wouldn't be going that way because it wasn't the way the driver takes us, and he looked kind of bummed, but he was happy with the picture he did get! 

It was really cute because at one point I was trying to get a photo of the fire for him, and I kept  snapping   and snapping but it seemed the flames kept shifting every time I took a photo, so I never got a good shot of it.  Finally one came out pretty good, and I said "Oh...." and I was about to add....."I got one!"....but before I could get those words in he started singing ......"Happy Day, Happy  Day....when you washed my sins away!"  Apparently my "Oh" had prompted a tune in his heart! (Since that song starts out "Oh, Happy Day!")  He learned that song last summer when he was with us, and he only remembers two lines, but he sings them from his heart, with enthusiasm and a little bit of groovin' going on too!  He then proceeded to sing that song repeatedly throughout our visit! It was really cute! (I can't seem to get the video to upload here, but I will try to put it on my Facebook.)  It really was a "Happy Day!"  (You can see that in these photos! Ruslan requested the one of the two of us together, and then he took the one of Bill and I.  Love these borders he adds!)