If Bill wasn't sitting there to witness it, I am not sure anyone would believe me. But God had a mighty message for me today! We had a few minutes to wait before our driver arrived to bring us to the orphanage. So I sat down with my "Mom's Devotional Bible" and prayed for God to speak to me through scripture in that moment. Then I randomly opened to a page. And boy did He have a message for me! The Devotional was titled, "What Are You Waiting For?" and the passage reference was Psalm 40:1-5. (Also referenced Psalm 130:5-6 and Jude 20).
Here is what it said (I underlined the parts that were particularly impacting to me!): "We wait for everything. For the dryer to finish. For our husbands to get home. For the phone to ring. For the baby to wake. For the mail to come. For a car to pull up, returning our child safely home. For a job. For answers to prayer.
With so much experience, we're remarkably unskilled at waiting well. Waiting seems to us a colossal waste of time.
But the fact is that while we are waiting, God is working. To move us where he wants us to be. To readjust the lives of others so that his ultimate desires will be fulfilled. To bring about what will make us eventually Christlike, though not necessarily immediately comfortable.
What are you waiting for? And more to the point, how well are you waiting for it?"
Well shoot. If that's not conviction, I don't know what is! I have been waitingever not so patiently! I definitely received this message loud and clear today! Maybe it's a message for you too? Is there something....someone...you've been waiting on? Is there something you are immediately uncomfortable in, that God is using in a big way to get you where He wants you to be?
I know there is a reason the Lord has delayed our stay here, and instead of being impatient, I can seek His will and His purpose. If it is His will for me to leave on Friday, then it will be. If not, then He knew that all along, and it is all part of His perfect plan! Trying to rest in that tonight!
Another good visit with Ruslan today. I love looking back over this blog and seeing the stories and all the detail. It will be great to look back on when we are at a point that the overall trip stays with us in memory but the details are hard to recall. Unfortunately, that makes for some long reading for you, so feel free to skim!
When we arrived, he was walking around outside the orphanage by himself, with a ball. (We are not exactly sure why!) He was happy to see us though, and had a quick snack before wanting to get back to his firetruck and helicopter. He decided to take the firetruck apart and build it again! He is really enjoying those legos!
At one point, Yana came over and Ruslan said that she could sit with us. Then, the caregiver came over to tell Yana to leave, but Yana explained that Ruslan had told her she could stay. The caregiver then asked Ruslan if it would be okay for her to build legos with Ruslan. He immediately got a scowl on his face and said, "No!" I explained that it would be okay, and that Yana wanted to be his friend, and that even if she built the legos with us, they would still be his to keep. So, he was okay then with her joining us.
He said that he wanted to work on the firetruck with Bill, and Yana and I could work on the helicopter. So we started, but Yana is younger and doesn't seem to understand our language of English with charades gestures quite as well as Ruslan, so she wasn't exactly building the helicopter according to the directions.....which didn't exactly make Ruslan happy! He got angry that she was doing it "wrong" and told her she couldn't play any more. So Yana (who we have seen to be tremendously emotional, easily hurt, and often sulking) walked away crying. I explained to Ruslan that Yana was sad. He watched her for a moment, kind of taking it in, and you could see there was empathy there though he didn't quite know what to do with it. I explained to Ruslan that it's okay if Yana does it the wrong way, and that once she goes back to playing with the children, he and I can "fix" the helicopter the right way. I asked him if that would be okay? He said that, yes, it would. I encouraged him to go invite her back to play. He gestured that he wanted me to tell her. So I called out to her saying, "Yana....Kirin says it's okay to play!" Well, he promptly informed me not to call him Kirin, please! (That's his last name, and nearly everyone at the orphanage refers to him as that, so I just figured it was the easiest way for her to know who I was talking about, and I figured it was okay with him since they all do it! But he is CLEARLY not a fan, and prefers to be called by his first name!!!) Yana had no idea what I was saying, so we compromised on going together to talk to her. By the time we got to her, the teacher was trying to keep Yana from us, and Yana was full-fledged sobbing. Ruslan told her that it would be okay to come back, so she took a few choked-up breaths to calm herself down, and she walked back to the table with Bill. I thanked the caregiver, and told her it was good for Ruslan to see that they could play together.
And, before we went back to the table I praised Ruslan like nobody's business, and he was smiling and excited. I thanked him for being a friend to Yana, and I told him I was so proud of him for sharing with her. I again reassured him that we would put the helicopter back together the right way when she left, and that the legos were his to keep. (For days he has been gesturing that those legos are NOT staying at the orphanage, but rather coming home to his "bedroom in America"!) Once Yana finished her legos, she was looking at Bill's watch. Ruslan wanted to see it too, so he grabbed it out of her hand. We had him give it back, and then explained that if he wants to see it he can say please. So, he said "please" in English (since he would rather use English words than Russian lately!) We praised him for doing such a good job asking first instead of grabbing, and then explained to Yana that Ruslan had said please. So she let him look at it and we reminded him when he was done he needed to give it back to Yana, which he did with no problem!
He looked genuinely pleased with himself, and it was so nice to see him getting over the hurdle of sharing and letting other people in. He even asked if we could give a chocolate egg to Yana! I explained that the caregivers wouldn't let us, but praised him for being so thoughtful and kind. (Apparently Yana is "in" now!) I told him we could instead bring stickers for Yana and the other children. He was actually excited, and gestured handing them out to everyone. We'll be sure to pack those stickers for our next visit!
It was cute because at one point Bill was helping Yana fix the helicopter, and I was working with Ruslan on the firetruck. Ruslan looked over and saw that Bill was helping Yana put pieces on in the right places (she had asked him for help, but Ruslan didn't realize that.) Ruslan said, "Papa....no, Papa!" and was gesturing to let her do it her own way, and that when Yana leaves, we can "fix" it! It really made Bill and I smile to see his practical application of his new found ability to be tolerant of someone else. The caregiver came to check on us, and seemed very pleased that everything was going so nicely. Ruslan played happily with Yana for the rest of the time, until she felt she had enough and happily went on her way. (He did, however, check her hands when she left to be sure she didn't abscond with any lego pieces. He was relieved to see it was just a tiny crabapple in her hand!)
At one point, Ruslan was getting frustrated when the firetruck kept breaking apart when he was trying to click a piece on. He gave up and threw the firetruck back in to the box, obviously exasperated. I said, "Ruslan, nyet" which means no. At this point he was crying, and had clearly worked himself up. I explained that it's okay to be frustrated, but that we can take a deep breath and ask for help. Then I modeled asking Papa for some help to fix the firetruck, and that made Ruslan feel a lot better. Bill was able to get the firetruck back together until there were only a few more pieces to go on and then Ruslan happily finished the rest. We know it will take these real life teachable moments to develop skills in him that no one has taken the time to teach. (Coping, sharing, empathy, etc.) We see the fruits of each lesson in small ways every day, and we can tell they will have a compound effect. We feel blessed to be able to bring empowerment, and new skills to a little boy who has become a master at defensiveness, isolation, self-deprication and not trusting others. It is honestly so amazing to see his receptivity to each new skill, and to see him literally blossom before our eyes. He's like a garden that no one has tended in almost ten years, and now that the sunshine and the water are coming in, we can look through the weeds and see the tender green shoots sprouting up. Glad we'll be around to watch this garden blossom. (And totally mindful that there will be many weeds popping up along the way!)
The girl that was eating the trees yesterday came up to us today. (Which apparently she isn't supposed to because Ruslan and Yana were turning her around and trying to get her to go back to the group, and then finally a caregiver came to get her!) Before the caregiver came though, Yana just walks up to the girl, lifts up her shirt, lowers the waistband of her pants about an inch and shows us that she is wearing a diaper. Then Yana and Ruslan begin to giggle. The girl seems oblivious, and it appeared to Bill and I that she isn't able to talk. I explain to Yana and Ruslan that it's okay, and that we don't want to laugh at her because we could make her sad. They both then started explaining again that she isn't supposed to be there...and that's when the caregiver took her away. Each of these children has a story. The girl who eats the trees...Yana....Maksim...Vitalik....and more. As I interact with each of them, I find myself wondering what their story is. Do they have a family? Were they taken away or given up? Have they just gotten here, or been here since birth like Ruslan? I'll never know. But I hope I can be a source of light and hope to them. And I know I can remind them that they are special, that God loves them, and that they are smart and beautiful on the inside and out.
And lo and behold, as we are finishing up the legos, here comes the fence jumping lady. And Ruslan is just cracking up, and hurries to get the camera so he can snap a photo of her in action. And he is literally cheering when he gets a shot of her approaching the fence, and then even more giddy when he captures a perfect shot of her halfway over the fence. And I know I shouldn't, but I laugh too. Because it's funny to see this woman hoisting herself over the fence. And it's funny that Ruslan thinks it's funny. And when you've been here this long you just get punchy. So, laughing along with the fence climbing lady's fiasco is not one of my prouder parenting moments, what can I say!? And here for your viewing pleasure is a picture of the fence jumper, and one of my husband, both compliments of Ruslan!
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Here is what it said (I underlined the parts that were particularly impacting to me!): "We wait for everything. For the dryer to finish. For our husbands to get home. For the phone to ring. For the baby to wake. For the mail to come. For a car to pull up, returning our child safely home. For a job. For answers to prayer.
With so much experience, we're remarkably unskilled at waiting well. Waiting seems to us a colossal waste of time.
But the fact is that while we are waiting, God is working. To move us where he wants us to be. To readjust the lives of others so that his ultimate desires will be fulfilled. To bring about what will make us eventually Christlike, though not necessarily immediately comfortable.
What are you waiting for? And more to the point, how well are you waiting for it?"
Well shoot. If that's not conviction, I don't know what is! I have been waiting
I know there is a reason the Lord has delayed our stay here, and instead of being impatient, I can seek His will and His purpose. If it is His will for me to leave on Friday, then it will be. If not, then He knew that all along, and it is all part of His perfect plan! Trying to rest in that tonight!
Another good visit with Ruslan today. I love looking back over this blog and seeing the stories and all the detail. It will be great to look back on when we are at a point that the overall trip stays with us in memory but the details are hard to recall. Unfortunately, that makes for some long reading for you, so feel free to skim!
When we arrived, he was walking around outside the orphanage by himself, with a ball. (We are not exactly sure why!) He was happy to see us though, and had a quick snack before wanting to get back to his firetruck and helicopter. He decided to take the firetruck apart and build it again! He is really enjoying those legos!
At one point, Yana came over and Ruslan said that she could sit with us. Then, the caregiver came over to tell Yana to leave, but Yana explained that Ruslan had told her she could stay. The caregiver then asked Ruslan if it would be okay for her to build legos with Ruslan. He immediately got a scowl on his face and said, "No!" I explained that it would be okay, and that Yana wanted to be his friend, and that even if she built the legos with us, they would still be his to keep. So, he was okay then with her joining us.
He said that he wanted to work on the firetruck with Bill, and Yana and I could work on the helicopter. So we started, but Yana is younger and doesn't seem to understand our language of English with charades gestures quite as well as Ruslan, so she wasn't exactly building the helicopter according to the directions.....which didn't exactly make Ruslan happy! He got angry that she was doing it "wrong" and told her she couldn't play any more. So Yana (who we have seen to be tremendously emotional, easily hurt, and often sulking) walked away crying. I explained to Ruslan that Yana was sad. He watched her for a moment, kind of taking it in, and you could see there was empathy there though he didn't quite know what to do with it. I explained to Ruslan that it's okay if Yana does it the wrong way, and that once she goes back to playing with the children, he and I can "fix" the helicopter the right way. I asked him if that would be okay? He said that, yes, it would. I encouraged him to go invite her back to play. He gestured that he wanted me to tell her. So I called out to her saying, "Yana....Kirin says it's okay to play!" Well, he promptly informed me not to call him Kirin, please! (That's his last name, and nearly everyone at the orphanage refers to him as that, so I just figured it was the easiest way for her to know who I was talking about, and I figured it was okay with him since they all do it! But he is CLEARLY not a fan, and prefers to be called by his first name!!!) Yana had no idea what I was saying, so we compromised on going together to talk to her. By the time we got to her, the teacher was trying to keep Yana from us, and Yana was full-fledged sobbing. Ruslan told her that it would be okay to come back, so she took a few choked-up breaths to calm herself down, and she walked back to the table with Bill. I thanked the caregiver, and told her it was good for Ruslan to see that they could play together.
And, before we went back to the table I praised Ruslan like nobody's business, and he was smiling and excited. I thanked him for being a friend to Yana, and I told him I was so proud of him for sharing with her. I again reassured him that we would put the helicopter back together the right way when she left, and that the legos were his to keep. (For days he has been gesturing that those legos are NOT staying at the orphanage, but rather coming home to his "bedroom in America"!) Once Yana finished her legos, she was looking at Bill's watch. Ruslan wanted to see it too, so he grabbed it out of her hand. We had him give it back, and then explained that if he wants to see it he can say please. So, he said "please" in English (since he would rather use English words than Russian lately!) We praised him for doing such a good job asking first instead of grabbing, and then explained to Yana that Ruslan had said please. So she let him look at it and we reminded him when he was done he needed to give it back to Yana, which he did with no problem!
He looked genuinely pleased with himself, and it was so nice to see him getting over the hurdle of sharing and letting other people in. He even asked if we could give a chocolate egg to Yana! I explained that the caregivers wouldn't let us, but praised him for being so thoughtful and kind. (Apparently Yana is "in" now!) I told him we could instead bring stickers for Yana and the other children. He was actually excited, and gestured handing them out to everyone. We'll be sure to pack those stickers for our next visit!
It was cute because at one point Bill was helping Yana fix the helicopter, and I was working with Ruslan on the firetruck. Ruslan looked over and saw that Bill was helping Yana put pieces on in the right places (she had asked him for help, but Ruslan didn't realize that.) Ruslan said, "Papa....no, Papa!" and was gesturing to let her do it her own way, and that when Yana leaves, we can "fix" it! It really made Bill and I smile to see his practical application of his new found ability to be tolerant of someone else. The caregiver came to check on us, and seemed very pleased that everything was going so nicely. Ruslan played happily with Yana for the rest of the time, until she felt she had enough and happily went on her way. (He did, however, check her hands when she left to be sure she didn't abscond with any lego pieces. He was relieved to see it was just a tiny crabapple in her hand!)
At one point, Ruslan was getting frustrated when the firetruck kept breaking apart when he was trying to click a piece on. He gave up and threw the firetruck back in to the box, obviously exasperated. I said, "Ruslan, nyet" which means no. At this point he was crying, and had clearly worked himself up. I explained that it's okay to be frustrated, but that we can take a deep breath and ask for help. Then I modeled asking Papa for some help to fix the firetruck, and that made Ruslan feel a lot better. Bill was able to get the firetruck back together until there were only a few more pieces to go on and then Ruslan happily finished the rest. We know it will take these real life teachable moments to develop skills in him that no one has taken the time to teach. (Coping, sharing, empathy, etc.) We see the fruits of each lesson in small ways every day, and we can tell they will have a compound effect. We feel blessed to be able to bring empowerment, and new skills to a little boy who has become a master at defensiveness, isolation, self-deprication and not trusting others. It is honestly so amazing to see his receptivity to each new skill, and to see him literally blossom before our eyes. He's like a garden that no one has tended in almost ten years, and now that the sunshine and the water are coming in, we can look through the weeds and see the tender green shoots sprouting up. Glad we'll be around to watch this garden blossom. (And totally mindful that there will be many weeds popping up along the way!)
The girl that was eating the trees yesterday came up to us today. (Which apparently she isn't supposed to because Ruslan and Yana were turning her around and trying to get her to go back to the group, and then finally a caregiver came to get her!) Before the caregiver came though, Yana just walks up to the girl, lifts up her shirt, lowers the waistband of her pants about an inch and shows us that she is wearing a diaper. Then Yana and Ruslan begin to giggle. The girl seems oblivious, and it appeared to Bill and I that she isn't able to talk. I explain to Yana and Ruslan that it's okay, and that we don't want to laugh at her because we could make her sad. They both then started explaining again that she isn't supposed to be there...and that's when the caregiver took her away. Each of these children has a story. The girl who eats the trees...Yana....Maksim...Vitalik....and more. As I interact with each of them, I find myself wondering what their story is. Do they have a family? Were they taken away or given up? Have they just gotten here, or been here since birth like Ruslan? I'll never know. But I hope I can be a source of light and hope to them. And I know I can remind them that they are special, that God loves them, and that they are smart and beautiful on the inside and out.
And lo and behold, as we are finishing up the legos, here comes the fence jumping lady. And Ruslan is just cracking up, and hurries to get the camera so he can snap a photo of her in action. And he is literally cheering when he gets a shot of her approaching the fence, and then even more giddy when he captures a perfect shot of her halfway over the fence. And I know I shouldn't, but I laugh too. Because it's funny to see this woman hoisting herself over the fence. And it's funny that Ruslan thinks it's funny. And when you've been here this long you just get punchy. So, laughing along with the fence climbing lady's fiasco is not one of my prouder parenting moments, what can I say!? And here for your viewing pleasure is a picture of the fence jumper, and one of my husband, both compliments of Ruslan!
.JPG)
These posts are great and I love reading them! I feel like I am right there with you at times, and I enjoy seeing the teachable moments and hearing how you're handling them so lovingly and tenderly and Ruslan's reaction to them. You are amazing Karen! But I just had to comment on this particular post because of the photo of the woman =) Before I even read what it said, I remembered you mentioning her before and laughing just at reading it! Seeing it right there in front of my eyes, I could not help but burst out laughing! Oh Ukraine!
ReplyDeleteIsn't it amazing that we are able to be in a relationship with a God who loves us, and knows us, and each and every moment and detail in our lives; when He sends us those *winks* like the one He sent during your devotion time? I fall in love with Him all over again when He reaches down to me like that and makes it oh, so personal!