Hills and Valleys

What a crazy and amazing journey this has been. If someone had told me six months ago that we would host, and then later move to adopt, a Ukrainian orphan I would have thought they were crazy!

We couldn't have predicted this journey, and yet we wouldn't change it for the world. Though I must be honest, it has been an emotional ride.

I am learning so much through this experience. About patience, about my faith, about my husband and son, about my fortitude, about generosity and sacrifice, and so much more!

There are days that are great...that I can almost feel Ruslan in my arms...that the Lord's provision is so clear before me, that his presence is so tangible. That I am sure and strong in my conviction to rescue, and love and raise this little boy. That I have no doubt in my mind that this is what the Lord would have for us, and for Ruslan. That the photos and memories of Ruslan keep us motivated and inspired. That I am simply in awe at the so many, many people that have offered support in so many different forms and fashions.

And then there are days when the "to do" list seems too long, and I think of all the "thank-you" notes I still haven't written. There are days that the tears flow freely, that my husband and I lie awake wondering if we are just dreamers. Sometimes it feels like we will never see the day when Ruslan is home. Days when I am frustrated and discouraged, days when I feel I don't have the energy to set up and organize one more fundraiser, to solicit one more auction donation, or to irritate friends and acquaintances with one more post asking for support.

We've been kept busy since Ruslan left with the "business" of preparing for his adoption. There was the homestudy, the fingerprints, the passports, the immigration application, the medical appointments for us and Mason, the documents and the apostilles, the fundraisers...and while we are constantly fundraising, everything else has sort of come to a lull. We have just two documents to finish for our dossier, and that will be sent out to Ukraine on February 22nd. And then we wait some more until we hear about a travel date. It's like the momentum swept us up, and now that things are quiet we are coming down.

Our expected travel date is less than two months after our dossier submission in February. We are all too aware of the very harsh reality is that we may need to postpone our dossier submission date if we don't raise the needed funds in time. That the likelihood of coming up with over $20,000 in a month is slim. This means even more time that Ruslan is in the orphanage, and the uncertainty of exactly when the new submission date would even be. I am sometimes embarrassed at my worldly thinking sometimes, and the feelings of defeat that creep in. And I don't know why I do that!

I know this will only happen in the Lord's time. I know that we only want His will to be done. I know that He has shown us His faithfulness, provision and presence in countless ways. So we stay the course, we remember exactly what it is that we're fighting for, and we continue to pray that the light in Ruslan's eyes, and the love in his heart are guarded and preserved until we can come for him. And we wait on the Lord. We try to be still, and know that He is God. And we praise Him through it all.