Monday, April 16, 2012

$520 A Day......

That's it.  That's the number that will get us to our little boy.  $14,561.  We are so close now, and I can almost see him back in his bedroom, with all his favorite things tucked under his pillow.  I can hear his laughter, see the joy in his face as Bill lifts him up to touch the ceiling before bed.  Hear him laughing and singing with Mason.  I can practically feel his bedtime hugs, smell the salty sweatiness of his head in my lap the night he cried and cried because he knew it was time to leave. 

I can picture him in the waves at the ocean, never wanting to come to shore....his excitement over being able to brush his teeth, bleeding gums and all.  His joy at being able to take a bubble bath until his fingers wrinkled like prunes.  I remember him shopping for new shoes, so excited at the selection...and just cracking up at the little tiny baby shoes. 

I think about the time we'll have in Ukraine...time to share God's love, and invest in the children of the orphanage.  Time to see Ruslan's home, his "family" and the only history he has known.  I am so grateful for this opportunity to step in to his world.  So grateful to get photos of where he came from, to start recording his history and building his future.  So bittersweet to be bringing him home to a loving family, yet taking him from the only "family" he's ever known.  To walk out with just him...leaving those other little ones behind....just having to trust that God loves them, and has an amazing plan for each of them...and praying that our short time there has some kind of long term impact for them, planting a small seed of hope that they can hold on to. 

We are just in awe, honestly.  We brainstorm how we can ever repay the mind boggling generosity that has been shown.  How we can ever fully communicate our gratitude for the community of people locally, nationally and globally that have been rallying with us for a little boy who deserves a family.  Thank you seems so inadequate.  We are watching this miracle unfold, and it is simply overwhelming to see what the Lord is doing in the lives of two broken people who just want to be obedient, love this orphan child, share with him about a God who loves him and bring their son home.

Do we deserve this blessing? Some would argue not.  Are we the most qualified parents? I can say assuredly not.  But I know this....I look back over experiences, interactions, situations...and I see His hand in it all.  The amazing craftsmanship that has been taking place....the intentional way he placed this exact child in our lives...the people He has brought us in to fellowship and conversation with, the provision and faithfulness He has shown, the way he has stretched and grown us in our faith, the way we must constantly surrender to Him...and surrender again...and again!  (Thanks for that imagery, Shelly!)

I know that just 8 months ago, we were telling Him no...the Holy Spirit placed a stirring in our hearts, and we tried to ignore it.  Tried to walk....no run....away.  Tried to justify why we couldn't, why we shouldn't....but I know this.  Had we walked away...had we walked by sight and only paid attention to the numbers on paper...had we not stepped out in faith, and decided many times along the way to get out of the way and give it to God.....we would not be here....cleaning out a spare room....researching flight costs.....looking for a Russian children's Bible....preparing our hearts and our home to bring this little boy...truly alone in this world...home to his forever family.  And we would have missed out on what God had for us, on what He had in mind for Ruslan, and on this amazing story...a true testimony that with God, all things are possible.

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