Anticipation......

"Anticipation, or being enthusiastic, is an emotion involving pleasure, excitement, and sometimes anxiety in considering some expected or longed-for good event."

That pretty much sums it up.  We are waiting (and waiting!) for our travel date, and we just can't believe it is so close!!! It seems like minutes are hours, and hours are days.  We are checking e-mail...looking for missed calls, and waiting on the edge of our seat to hear what our travel date is.  Latest updates say we should hear about a date by May 15th or so, and likely travel in late May/early June. 

We have $10,646 left to raise, and we are beyond grateful and so humbled by the community that has rallied to support us, and bring Ruslan home.  In this final stretch, it would be great if you could share our blog with friends and family and help us close the gap.

Ruslan's bedroom furniture was gifted to us yesterday, so that is one more thing off our to do list.  We'll be painting his room on Friday night, and then putting away the books, stuffed animals, toys, clothes, pajamas, school supplies, bedding, and more that people have been so generous to provide.  It is so exciting to see it all come together.  I walk in that room, his room, and I can just imagine his joy when he comes home to a room all his own. When he finally has belongings he can call his own, and a place to keep them.  When he can sleep in a bedroom by himself, and have his own space to read, study, listen to music, daydream, play, think and just be. 

There are just no words.  We are truly in awe.  Our faith has been grown and stretched beyond measure, and we are so excited to share this story of God's love, His faithfulness and His provision.  What an affirmation for Ruslan...that God cared about him, and loved him, and protected him....that God chose him....chose us...that none of this was an accident.

Tonight, I am thankful to Amanda Shumaker of Redline United....for believing in this little boy....for following the stirring in her heart to include him in the hosting program even when it would have been easier, more prudent, more accepted, more popular to pass him up in favor of a child deemed more "marketable" or more likely to be adopted.  I am thankful that she stood her ground, pushed for him to be included, and saw something in him worth fighting for.  I am thankful that through many twists and turns, he was the little boy that ended up in our car on the way home from RDU just 9 months ago.

I am thankful to Laura Johnson, who encouraged us to listen to the stirring the Holy Spirit placed in our hearts for this boy....to be bold for the Lord, even in the face of adversity, doubt, and seemingly hopeless financial obstacles.  Who listened patiently through the tears, laughter, triumphs and trials.  Who remained calm, focused and steadfast even as we faltered and questioned and let our emotions get in the way.  Who pointed us back to God (Bog, in Russian!) when we needed that grounding, and who was never afraid to speak truth in love.

I am thankful to my husband, my best friend, who has been my biggest ally in this crazy, awesome, emotional journey.  I am thankful for how hard you work, how well you love your family, how you are a loving and involved father to Mason already and how that will just spread to include Ruslan, and I am so glad they both have an amazing Godly man to look up to. It is no exaggeration to say that God truly blessed the broken road that led me straight to you...and I feel like the luckiest woman in the world!

I am thankful beyond measure to the so, so many of you (too many to name individually!) who have poured out your hearts, time, money, resources, wisdom and more.  I wouldn't have believed community like this possible if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes.  And I don't quite know how to say thank you adequately for the gift of a child.  Each of you will forever be a huge part of our family, and a huge part of Ruslan's history.  There are simply no words or gestures to adequately express the heartfelt gratitude, the joy, and the awe that we feel.  We'll start by saying it as simply as we can...thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

And more than anything, I am thankful to a God who knows better than I know, sees more than I see, and was loving this little boy long before I ever even knew he existed.  I am thankful for His perfect plan, and humbled that I get to be a part of it. 

I have seen God move in some amazing and unexpected ways through this ministry.  If you'd like to learn more, volunteer, get involved, host or adopt (or know someone who wants to) or are just curious to learn more, I encourage you to check out http://www.redlineunited.org/.  It just might change your life, and/or the life of an orphan forever.

As for me, I'll be (not so) patiently waiting for that travel date, and I'll be sure to update once we have it!

$520 A Day......

That's it.  That's the number that will get us to our little boy.  $14,561.  We are so close now, and I can almost see him back in his bedroom, with all his favorite things tucked under his pillow.  I can hear his laughter, see the joy in his face as Bill lifts him up to touch the ceiling before bed.  Hear him laughing and singing with Mason.  I can practically feel his bedtime hugs, smell the salty sweatiness of his head in my lap the night he cried and cried because he knew it was time to leave. 

I can picture him in the waves at the ocean, never wanting to come to shore....his excitement over being able to brush his teeth, bleeding gums and all.  His joy at being able to take a bubble bath until his fingers wrinkled like prunes.  I remember him shopping for new shoes, so excited at the selection...and just cracking up at the little tiny baby shoes. 

I think about the time we'll have in Ukraine...time to share God's love, and invest in the children of the orphanage.  Time to see Ruslan's home, his "family" and the only history he has known.  I am so grateful for this opportunity to step in to his world.  So grateful to get photos of where he came from, to start recording his history and building his future.  So bittersweet to be bringing him home to a loving family, yet taking him from the only "family" he's ever known.  To walk out with just him...leaving those other little ones behind....just having to trust that God loves them, and has an amazing plan for each of them...and praying that our short time there has some kind of long term impact for them, planting a small seed of hope that they can hold on to. 

We are just in awe, honestly.  We brainstorm how we can ever repay the mind boggling generosity that has been shown.  How we can ever fully communicate our gratitude for the community of people locally, nationally and globally that have been rallying with us for a little boy who deserves a family.  Thank you seems so inadequate.  We are watching this miracle unfold, and it is simply overwhelming to see what the Lord is doing in the lives of two broken people who just want to be obedient, love this orphan child, share with him about a God who loves him and bring their son home.

Do we deserve this blessing? Some would argue not.  Are we the most qualified parents? I can say assuredly not.  But I know this....I look back over experiences, interactions, situations...and I see His hand in it all.  The amazing craftsmanship that has been taking place....the intentional way he placed this exact child in our lives...the people He has brought us in to fellowship and conversation with, the provision and faithfulness He has shown, the way he has stretched and grown us in our faith, the way we must constantly surrender to Him...and surrender again...and again!  (Thanks for that imagery, Shelly!)

I know that just 8 months ago, we were telling Him no...the Holy Spirit placed a stirring in our hearts, and we tried to ignore it.  Tried to walk....no run....away.  Tried to justify why we couldn't, why we shouldn't....but I know this.  Had we walked away...had we walked by sight and only paid attention to the numbers on paper...had we not stepped out in faith, and decided many times along the way to get out of the way and give it to God.....we would not be here....cleaning out a spare room....researching flight costs.....looking for a Russian children's Bible....preparing our hearts and our home to bring this little boy...truly alone in this world...home to his forever family.  And we would have missed out on what God had for us, on what He had in mind for Ruslan, and on this amazing story...a true testimony that with God, all things are possible.

Please Help Ruslan "Bid" Farewell To The Orphanage!

Please take a moment to check out our online auction, and help us bring Ruslan home.  Spread the word with friends and family too! www.32auctions.com/hope4ruslan

Fundraiser Success

Wow! What a week! Our Race for Ruslan (see Bill and Mason gearing up for the race in the photo above!) fundraiser brought in $500, our Monkey Joe's night totals aren't in yet but we are expecting around $100 and our Flashlight Egg Hunt brought in $594.....so thankful for that provision this week, and for the gains we are making to meet our final goal.  Travel time is just around the corner (mid-late May) and we wouldn't be this far without the help, love and support of an amazing community rallying for Ruslan.  We have a long way to go still, but we know our God is faithful, and the village that has rallied around us is going to help us keep fighting! Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

Reflections

You're welcome in advance for my random ramblings and musical links for your entertainment! What can I say, it's late!  We received word today that our dossier was submitted.  We have done all we can do now on the American side of things.  We should hear about our travel date in about a month...and we'll be traveling a few weeks after that.

With so many unknowns and variables (some families have received as little as 12 days notice to travel!) I can't help but be a little anxious! And I work hard at squelching that nagging voice that reminds me that it's just money that is standing in the way now.  We have lots of fundraising left to do, and still need to finalize plans for where Mason will stay while we are gone.  I can't even begin to think about the details of packing, and then there are all the unknowns we will encounter while in Ukraine, including the outcome of the court hearing.  Thankfully, God is in the details. 

For the last two weeks, my father's cancer surgery, hospitalization, and worsening Parkinson's disease have had me travelling in and out of state (to South Carolina) and very emotional.  He is frustrated, upset and so sad....and at only 60, he feels he has lost his life as he knows it.  There is some family drama along with the situation (a la Jerry Springer!) and I am truly exhausted.  The thank you notes to supporters that I was writing were put on hold...the progress in packaging our fundraising CD's was put on hold...I haven't returned a single one of our facilitator's e-mails...Facebook messages, phone calls and e-mails have gone unreturned.  And here I am sleepless at 2am! (Becky Radzinski...I know you feel my pain! It seems the only time blogging is a possibility is the middle of the night!)

I looked back at some paperwork this week, and I realized that we signed our adoption agreement on the exact six year anniversary of my mother's death.  I find that interesting because she passed away on the very day that we learned we were pregnant with Mason (within hours actually).  And then the day we officially decide to bring another child into our family, is the anniversary of her passing.  We didn't even realize it at the time, but looking back it is a poignant observation.  We have always maintained that she is Mason's guardian angel, and we know she'll be watching over Ruslan too! If she were here, she would be overjoyed at this journey we are on...she had a heart for the Lord and a heart for children that is simply unsurpassed!

I have a new found respect for families that tackle the uphill journey of adoption.  I have a blossoming and growing faith in a God that provides and is good, no matter what.  I have an unparalleled gratitude for friends and strangers that come together, not only with monetary support, but with moral support.  And I am just simply so humbled to be part of the amazing and awesome plan that is unfolding for this little boy, a world away.  I pray that through the trials and losses I face with my own parents, I can somehow have a heart that is even more empathetic to a little boy who has been feeling that loss since the first day he was born.  That remembering this little boy would give anything to have a family to argue with puts any family disagreements in perspective.  That I remember this journey (both adoption and life!) is not meant to be taken on in my own strength.  That I can rest in Him and know that He has a plan.  I just need to get out of the way and listen for it!

I am so grateful for a husband that is my best friend, an amazing father, and solid as a rock for me and our family.  I am so proud to know that Mason and Ruslan have a good and Godly man to look up to, and I am grateful beyond measure that our paths converged.  At the risk of going a little too country (Rascall Flats!) it is no cliche to say that God truly blessed the broken road that led me straight to him! And come to think of it, God blessed the broken road that led Ruslan straight to us too! It is so amazing how He makes beautiful things out of the dust.

A year ago, I couldn't have predicted this crazy journey that I am on today.  But I am grateful for the lessons, the learning, the love, the laughter and even the tears....they are all shaping, growing and changing me and they are all pointing me back to a great God who is with me every step of the way.  I read a quote I love today..."Remember, not knowing how it's all going to turn out is a GOOD thing...It gives life the chance to take your breath away!"

Flashlight Adult Egg Hunt Fundraiser

Friday, April 6th at 7:30pm we are having an adult (16 and up) flashlight egg hunt.  Bring your flashlight and an easter basket/bag and hunt for eggs...maybe you'll be lucky enough to find the eggs with the $50 restaurant gift cards in them.  Save some time for s'mores by the fire pit! We hope to see you there! Spread the word and tell family and friends!

4021 Gumleaf Drive Apex NC 27539

 

In The Mail Today....

"And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus." ~Philippians 4:19

That was on the envelope of a very generous check that came today...from a family in Utah. That scripture is so poignant...so meaningful...and so well timed! We got that just minutes after we received word from a local newspaper that they are willing to help us tell Ruslan's story.....just moments after we finished compiling a grant application to go out tomorrow.

All this comes just days after we made the bold decision to move forward with submitting our dossier. We missed our first submission date on February 22nd because we decided to hold off. I wish I could say it was because we felt the Lord telling us to wait, or we were standing for something big, or anything other than what it was. Fear.  Plain and simple.  We were holding back because we were afraid.  Because we didn't have every last dollar in our hands. Because we couldn't control the situation.  So we held on, and we held out.  And we thought, and we prayed, and we realized we were really just holding out on what the Lord might have for us, and for Ruslan. That if we didn't fully trust him, he wouldn't continue to bless this journey as he has so far.  So we decided, as we did 7 months ago, to relinquish that control.  To trust in Him.  To step out, again, in faith.  We were in prayer that the Lord would honor our decision to press forward...to trust Him.  It seems tonight that he has done exactly that. We are so thankful for these "winks" from God that keep us pressing on, that tell us we are on the right path, that help us listen even closer for what He would have next for us.  The Lord honors obedience, and we are thankful for those that continually challenge us to be bold for Him...to trust in Him....to walk by faith and not by sight....

Turns out, the family that sent the check from Utah is friends with a local family that has also been helping us fundraise by hosting an online Thirty-One party.  Also, they are a family that used to attend our church, and their two children used to be in the class that I coached.  So neat to be reconnected with them.  And the connections just keep coming!  What is it they say? Six degrees of separation?  We keep coming across these amazing connections, stories, relationships, etc. along the way.  I just sit at the feet of the Lord, humbled by His greatness and provision, and so thankful to be a part of His plan for Ruslan. 

Thank you to those who have boldly shared our story with others.  Without you, we wouldn't be able to reach out and have the ripple effect we need to make major waves in our final efforts to bring Ruslan home. I think sometimes people hear "fundraiser" and they think of massive events, with hours of planning, and huge budgets.  But, a young girl and her beads...a group of siblings and their piggy banks....some sweet children at a yard sale....our own son with his lemonade stand...have all made significant contributions to our efforts.  It doesn't take much!  All those small efforts add up in a huge way, and we are so thankful to those of you who are thinking outside the box to partner with us to bring Ruslan home! 

We pray that when we meet with the newspaper on Thursday, we are able to be bold as we tell Ruslan's story.  That they decide to run the story, and it reaches people and touches hearts.  We are so thankful for the opportunity to get the word out.  And we are so tremendously humbled by the continued support.  What an AMAZING story we will have to tell this little boy, and what a tremendous affirmation that will be to his wounded, wilted soul.  Praise be to God!