What the ????

So, yesterday we were having dinner in the "Wal-Mart" and there were music videos on the TV.  A new English song started up, and I was really only partially even listening to it...until I see the words "What The F$%#" in huge bright blue letters across the whole screen.  And even then, I am thinking I must now be hallucinating, and I look around to see if anyone else has noticed.  No one seems phased!  So I think it was probably just one moment in the song, meant to shock.  I couldn't be more wrong....the words are repeated at least a dozen more times in the next minute or so, followed by "These people are crazy" in Spanish!  I should add, I was sitting right next to the children's climbing structure!  Talk about an education! Apparently it's a song by "Sak Noel" titled loco people, or something.  I must be getting old, as I couldn't believe that would be playing mid-day, in the middle of the store, with kids everywhere.  I am believing not many of them spoke English, but I am thinking they know at least a few choice words now!

We have loved being able to spend time with Ruslan.  It is so great to see his smile, and see the way he has grown attached to us again.  It truly feels like we never missed a beat, like we've been family all along.  His laugh is so contagious, and I love that he never hides his mouth or his face when he is around us.  He knows he can be comfortable, and we won't ridicule or judge him. 

The error on the paperwork that terminated Ruslan's birth mother's parental rights has been fixed.  Tomorrow we go to meet with the assistant mayor of Belgorod (the city where Ruslan's orphanage is) to finalize the advisability for adoption.  Once we have that, we can submit it to the State Department of Adoptions, and then we should hear about a court date.

We forgot to bring our bag with the snack and a juice to the orphanage with us today.  Ruslan was hopeful there would be something to eat, but he was so good about it when we didn't have anything.  We'll be sure to grab the snack bag before we leave tomorrow, as he really looks forward to that!

He did some watercolor painting today, and seems to really enjoy art.  He raced Bill and I around the little paved path at the orphanage, and we also played some frisbee again.  At one point, a group of children was walking by us as we were sitting on a bench on the playground.  I hear this little voice call out "Kirin......Kirin!" (Ruslan's last name).....I have my back to them, but I naively assume this little boy is wanting to say hi, so I encourage Ruslan to say hi to him.  As I turn to look I notice this little boy not more than 4 or 5, is clearly giving the middle finger, and is yelling something in Russian.  I am honestly shocked, and say an audible "wow!" (which is a lot better than the "What the *#$%" I wanted to say!!!)   I couldn't believe that such a little boy would even know that gesture, or have any good reason to use it toward Ruslan after he has only been there for a week!  Ruslan seemed saddened, and downcast, but he did say something back in Russian.  (It's probably better I don't know what it was!)  The orphanage caregiver watched this little boy giving Ruslan the middle finger all the way across the playground, listened to him yell what I am sure were not very nice words, and did nothing.  It was only after she heard my audible response and saw my face (that probably was plastered with disbelief!) that she finally said something to the boy.

A wise woman who has adopted two children from Ukraine, and is such an inspiration to me, said that one word to describe Ukraine is "resilient"....and that it's also a good word to describe our children.  And that is so true.  I am amazed at Ruslan's resilient heart, his sweet nature, his desire to share whatever little bit he has with those who love him.  I am amazed that this boy, who has endured so much in his ten years, is still joyful and able to love.  I can't wait to get him in to a healing, nurturing environment where he can blossom. 

I see how Ruslan clings to the few people that have shown him kindness.  He gave our driver, Sergei (who was listed earlier this week among the people Ruslan loves!) a huge hug!  Today, while Ruslan and I were walking together he asked out of nowhere, "Мама, где Саша?" (Mama, where's Sasha?)  Sasha is our facilitator, and he has been busy in Kiev getting it done! (He is on our paperwork like a rock star, and getting things in order so we can submit for a court date in time to keep to our flight itinerary!)  I see the way he clings to those who show him kindness, and I am glad that he still trusts.  That he is still open to receiving love.  And that this is the last month he will have to spend in the orphanage. 

He tried on his going home clothes earlier this week, and we explained they were for America (since he leaves the orphanage with nothing.)  He was just beaming with excitement, and carefully folded everything after trying it on.  We even got him a baseball cap that says "America" on it, and he is just delighted.  (He no longer wants to spell his name with the cyrillic alphabet, and has chosen on his own to write it using English letters!)  We also let him try on his clothes for court today (or at least what we have so far! Still looking for a shirt and pants!)  He was so handsome in his little vest, and tie...and he was so proud to be wearing the tie.  Bill had tied the tie quickly just to give an idea of what it would look like, and the back piece of the tie was longer than the front.  Ruslan started by threading the back piece through the loop on the back of the front piece, to see if that would help.  He is obviously concerned about the details of looking good!!!!!  He tried on his socks and fancy black dress shoes and was so excited walking around in them.  (He also pointed to his dirty, worn socks and gave a thumbs down!)  We looked up the word "court" and explained that these were to wear when we ask permission for him to go to America.  Again, all smiles and excitement.  And as he took each item off, he treated it like gold, carefully folding it and putting it away. 

We aren't sure if the orphanage will let him wear what we picked for court or not, but we want to be ready if they do.  Ruslan appreciates each item of clothing so much, and particularly loves dress clothes.  (He wanted to wear the long sleeve dress shirt that came in his backpack last summer so bad, even when it was 90 degrees outside!)  So we feel like a special day deserves special clothes, and that is sure to be the most special day of this little boy's life!

I am grateful for the art he is making, and I treasure each creation the same way I have treasured Mason's along the way.  I love the photos we've been taking (and I'll try to post some later!).  I wash and fold Ruslan's clothes as I did when we were preparing the nursery for Mason.  And I can't help but think of the re-birth that is happening for Ruslan.  That he may have been born ten years ago, but in essence, his history is just starting.  He will walk out of the orphanage with nothing.  Not any photos, not an article of clothing that he can call his own, not a sentimental trinket or item, not even a pair of shoes.  We have already started building memories....recording events, times and places....capturing photographs so that one day Ruslan can look back and remember.  And we pray that he might just look back on this crazy, goofy family with all it's quirks and imperfections, and all the giggles, laughs, tears, trials and triumphs we'll have through the years, and know that this was his family all along, and it just took us a little while to get to him!!!