We are really loving spending time with Ruslan each day. He was much more at ease with the other children coming outside today. He actually sought a couple of them out, and was not concerned over leaving his belongings out, etc. He did have an emotional moment today though, when we were playing frisbee. We were playing a game where we would trick someone and pretend to throw it at them, but at the last minute throw it to someone else. This just cracks Ruslan up, and he particularly loves tricking Papa!
Bill threw the frisbee to me, and as soon as I caught it I quickly turned to throw it to Ruslan. In my haste, and not realizing Ruslan had moved closer to me, my throw was aimed poorly and the frisbee accidentally caught the side of his cheek on the way by. There was no mark, but he immediately crouched down and hid his face. Of course, I apologized right away and went over to him, and saw that he was crying big tears. I crouched down with him, explaining it was an accident, and I would never intentionally hurt him. I explained that Papa threw the frisbee to me, and I went too fast and tried to throw it to him, and that it was an accident and I was very sorry. I rubbed his cheek gently and told him I would never hit him or hurt him. He then was able to wipe his eyes and hold my hand, and go to sit at the picnic table with me. He climbed in to my lap, and curled up with his head on my shoulder. And my heart just broke again for this boy. Ten years old chronologically, but with a lifetime of healing to do, and a legacy of missed developmental milestones to connect and repair. And so many emotions right now. Plucked from his usual orphanage building and put in to a new group of children and caregivers...so excited to have us here, but having to say goodbye every day. Excited to go home to America, but also sad, I am sure, to leave the only life he's known behind. Probably a little anxious and nervous too, and a whole lot excited! What an emotional roller coaster for this little boy. Praying that the Lord continues to watch over him and bring him peace.
He was soon giggling again, and back to his old self, and really wanting to walk around shooting pictures of everyone and everything! (He holds the camera up, and gleefully exclaims "paparazzi"!)This child loves beautiful things...when he spots them, he oooohhs and aaahhhhhs, and wants to immediately capture them on film.
He saw a car parked outside the orphanage fence, and asked me if he would be able to go in a car when we get to America! (When he got in our car this past summer, I think it was his first car ride. He was holding on in the car, thinking it was going to take off like an airplane!) I told him we could, and he was so excited! I told him he would be able to brush his teeth, and take a bubble bath....and he finished my sentence by saying "pizza" and rubbing his belly! He is really looking forward to having pizza in America. (We were told we aren't allowed to bring him pizza in the orphanage anymore, because they aren't allowed to eat food from "unapproved sources" and that if he came down with a stomach bug because of it, we would be to blame.)
At one point, Bill had his bag open, and Ruslan saw our passports. He was interested in them, and wanted to see the pictures....asking if the signatures on them were our names. My driver's license was in my passport, and he was really excited about that when he learned it meant I could drive a car! I told him that our facilitator would be getting him a passport too so he could come to America with us. He was all smiles, and so happy. Then he asked if he could get a driver's license too! Slow down there buddy, a few more years!!!!
While we are loving each moment of getting to visit with Ruslan, we are also aching to get back home. It's a long time to be away, and we were kind of discouraged to learn this week that we won't be making our original itinerary back home. WE HAVEN'T BROKEN THIS NEWS TO MASON YET, so if you run in to him, please don't be the one to drop the bomb! Waiting to see how things flesh out with our court date...we should know better by about Thursday of this week. (But our facilitator said it is definite we won't be making the 10th!) Latest estimates are an optimistic June 15th for me, but could be as late as June 18th. Bill could be July 4th or 5th.
Prayers appreciated for a smooth process paperwork wise from here on out! Hoping things might go quicker as getting more time off of work (especially for Bill), finding someone to watch the dogs when our current dogsitter has to leave, losing a week of transition time for Ruslan before school starts on July 9 and a week of maternity time to be with him once we're home, extending our childcare, paying for the additional time in country, dealing with homesickness, changing our flights, missing Mason's birthday and end of the year school events, etc. are all very tricky! Could definitely be worse, and we are grateful for the many blessings and the hard work our facilitator is doing. It's just a loooooong time to be away!
We were brave while the facilitator was here breaking the news, but we both just melted in tears when he left. Mason has been counting down the days and marking his calendar, so neither one of us is looking forward to breaking the news to him. It's hard with his birthday this month, his last soccer game, his first lost tooth, his end of the year school events including an award ceremony he will be recognized in, and at least one (sometimes both) of us will be missing most of these! And then for Ruslan, losing a week of transition time before school feels like a huge setback! This journey is emotional to say the least! We just keep trying to remind ourselves this will be in His time, and according to His perfect plan.
I know these all seem like silly things, and well meaning people tell us in six months from now it will all be a distant memory....and Mason will be fine....and it's worth it to bring Ruslan home....and all those things are very much true. But it doesn't make it any easier in the moment! We miss our son, the rest of our family, our friends, our jobs, etc. and being somewhere where you don't speak (or read, or write!) the language can be kind of isolating! Thankfully we have each other, and we've been grateful for lots of time together to connect with no child, no dogs, no work demands, no schedules to adhere to!
We are going to visit the church near the market tomorrow, so we are looking forward to that. It's definitely no Pastor Mike, and we KNOW it won't be the same as the sex sermon we're missing this weekend (those of you Hope attendees know what I'm talkin' about!) but at least it's church. And though we won't understand a word, I know we'll be filled and we're looking forward to worshipping with others and praising Him for all the blessings He has given. He has so clearly been an integral part of this journey. And at a time when emotions are high, we want to just be still, and know that he is God!
We are so thankful for the village of people at home, praying, encouraging, laughing and crying along with us, supporting, caring for our pets, welcoming our son in to their home as their own, mowing (and tilling, I might add!!!!), taking care of the school photos I forgot to send in, the bill payments that needed to go out, and so much more. We are humbled and grateful for the amazing way you have all rallied behind us, and most importantly behind this little boy. Seeing and spending time with Ruslan, there has been a definite confirmation that this is the path God would have us on. How amazing that in the process he brought many new relationships in to our lives, and some people that were already in our lives to the forefront.
We are so grateful that this is the child the Lord has chosen for us. Because he needs a hero. He needs a Saviour. He needs healing, hope and love. And so much more. And we won't be able to give him any of that, but through the strength of our God. And the awesome community of people who have shown our family....this boy...more love than he has ever known in his entire ten years of existence. I don't think I can adequately illustrate how your pennies, dimes and dollars....your prayers...everything...have made a lasting, lifelong impact on this child. And a tremendous kingdom impact in those who have watched this story unfold. And are now believing in a God they might have questioned before. Or are willing to step out in faith in some area of their life and be bold. Or are simply drawn closer to God, or willing to ask questions...or who knows what the eternal impact will be. All I know, is we are humbled to be a part of it.
This little boy is resilient (thanks for that word, Shelly!) He has endured more than I think I would be able to, truthfully. We spend mere hours in the orphanage each day, and we leave with heavy hearts. I can't imagine being confined there every day, all day, for ten years. He has been cast away, ridiculed, rejected, abused, isolated, and more. And yet he is thoughtful, funny and smart. He smiles the brightest smile, laughs the heartiest laugh, would give away his only crumb of bread, and has a heart as sweet as can be. And I just don't know how. I am so thankful for that preservation of his heart. For the fact that God was watching over him ten years ago when he was left behind by the very woman who gave him life. (Thank God she chose to give him life!) Throughout the first year of his life when he laid in that hospital alone, without anyone to visit him, love him, nurture him. Through three surgeries as a child, through two orphanage homes and a visit to the mental institution. Through traumas I can't even pretend to know the depth of. Right up through his trip to our home last summer. And every day since, keeping a kernel of hope alive in him, and a hedge of protection around him.
I suppose now is as good of a time as any to share the name we decided on for him. It is , on paper at least, Daniel Ruslan Kochies. But, we will definitely not be forcing that change, nor will we be addressing it right away! If he chooses to go by Ruslan for all of his days, that is fine with us! If he chooses to take on Daniel as his name, that is fine with us too. But after much thought, prayer and consideration we decided to give him a new first name, for many reasons, and Daniel seemed very fitting. I'll try to share why, but I am no theologian or Biblical expert...just some things that spoke to us from reading in and about Daniel. I've quoted some excerpts that really spoke to me as well.
"In Daniel 2:1-23, King Nebucchanezer had a God-given dream that shook him to his core. When God causes extreme things to happen, it is so He can act extremely. God sometimes allows things to happen in our lives that are completely out of our control, as it was to become for Daniel, so that God HAS to act! And then God, and only God, can get the glory." We feel very much that this extreme journey was nothing but God planting a seed in our hearts, and we definitely give ALL the glory to God. With him all things are possible. His presence and provision in this journey are evident beyond measure.
Daniel 2:18-19 "Then Daniel returned to his house and explained the matter to his friends..... He urged them to plead for mercy from the God of heaven concerning this mystery, so that he and his friends might not be executed with the rest of the wise men of Babylon. During the night the mystery was revealed to Daniel in a vision."
There is no doubt that we need prayer, we need each other, and we need to be praying for each other! It is so important to make sure you have people around you that you can ask to pray in times of trial, and praise along with you in the good times. Daniel did. And to make sure to take things to the Lord instead of stewing on them for a while! This was, and still is, a huge lesson for us. That we need to be comfortable asking for help...asking for prayer...and constantly surrendering to God and giving it all to Him.
Daniel 2:19-23 and Job 12:13-23 talk of the Lord knowing what lies in the darkness, and bringing shadows in to the light. What we would consider to be darkness is still light to the Lord. He makes beautiful things. And I know despite the dark days Ruslan has endured, there is much light ahead.
Daniel 3:19-29 King Nebuchadnezzar orders Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in to the blazing furnace. They are unscathed, except the ropes that bind them. Sometimes God uses trials to free us from the things that bind us. Sometimes we experience God the most in the midst of "fiery" ordeals. I pray that the ordeals Ruslan has endured will serve to reveal God's unfailing love and faithfulness for him, when he becomes aware of how the Lord worked in the hearts of so many to free him from what was binding him. Nebuchadnezzar got to see that with God, you can go through fire and not be burned. We can't ever underestimate God's desire to witness to others when we go through trials. I hope Ruslan will some day see that this trying time in his life is a part of him, but it does not define him. And who knows, it may equip him in some way to witness to others....what a testimony he will have.
And then of course there's the tale of Daniel and the Lion's den in Daniel 6. And the fact that God delivered Daniel from that fate. And He has been with Ruslan through every trial, dark time and pit that he has faced thus far. And he will deliver Ruslan from the lion's that threaten him during this healing journey as well!
No doubt the apostle Paul had this in mind when he wrote:
At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them. But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion’s mouth. (2 Tim 4:16-17)
This makes me think of Ruslan...because at first, no one was supporting him, and everyone had deserted him. And we pray there is peace in his mother's heart, and we try not to judge her. And when he was deserted, the Lord stood by his side...it is clear the Lord gave him strength, and his journey has certainly been an amazing testimony. And he is delivered- in to the loving arms of a family, and a future bright with hope. Our Daniel Ruslan.
Bill threw the frisbee to me, and as soon as I caught it I quickly turned to throw it to Ruslan. In my haste, and not realizing Ruslan had moved closer to me, my throw was aimed poorly and the frisbee accidentally caught the side of his cheek on the way by. There was no mark, but he immediately crouched down and hid his face. Of course, I apologized right away and went over to him, and saw that he was crying big tears. I crouched down with him, explaining it was an accident, and I would never intentionally hurt him. I explained that Papa threw the frisbee to me, and I went too fast and tried to throw it to him, and that it was an accident and I was very sorry. I rubbed his cheek gently and told him I would never hit him or hurt him. He then was able to wipe his eyes and hold my hand, and go to sit at the picnic table with me. He climbed in to my lap, and curled up with his head on my shoulder. And my heart just broke again for this boy. Ten years old chronologically, but with a lifetime of healing to do, and a legacy of missed developmental milestones to connect and repair. And so many emotions right now. Plucked from his usual orphanage building and put in to a new group of children and caregivers...so excited to have us here, but having to say goodbye every day. Excited to go home to America, but also sad, I am sure, to leave the only life he's known behind. Probably a little anxious and nervous too, and a whole lot excited! What an emotional roller coaster for this little boy. Praying that the Lord continues to watch over him and bring him peace.
He was soon giggling again, and back to his old self, and really wanting to walk around shooting pictures of everyone and everything! (He holds the camera up, and gleefully exclaims "paparazzi"!)This child loves beautiful things...when he spots them, he oooohhs and aaahhhhhs, and wants to immediately capture them on film.
He saw a car parked outside the orphanage fence, and asked me if he would be able to go in a car when we get to America! (When he got in our car this past summer, I think it was his first car ride. He was holding on in the car, thinking it was going to take off like an airplane!) I told him we could, and he was so excited! I told him he would be able to brush his teeth, and take a bubble bath....and he finished my sentence by saying "pizza" and rubbing his belly! He is really looking forward to having pizza in America. (We were told we aren't allowed to bring him pizza in the orphanage anymore, because they aren't allowed to eat food from "unapproved sources" and that if he came down with a stomach bug because of it, we would be to blame.)
At one point, Bill had his bag open, and Ruslan saw our passports. He was interested in them, and wanted to see the pictures....asking if the signatures on them were our names. My driver's license was in my passport, and he was really excited about that when he learned it meant I could drive a car! I told him that our facilitator would be getting him a passport too so he could come to America with us. He was all smiles, and so happy. Then he asked if he could get a driver's license too! Slow down there buddy, a few more years!!!!
While we are loving each moment of getting to visit with Ruslan, we are also aching to get back home. It's a long time to be away, and we were kind of discouraged to learn this week that we won't be making our original itinerary back home. WE HAVEN'T BROKEN THIS NEWS TO MASON YET, so if you run in to him, please don't be the one to drop the bomb! Waiting to see how things flesh out with our court date...we should know better by about Thursday of this week. (But our facilitator said it is definite we won't be making the 10th!) Latest estimates are an optimistic June 15th for me, but could be as late as June 18th. Bill could be July 4th or 5th.
Prayers appreciated for a smooth process paperwork wise from here on out! Hoping things might go quicker as getting more time off of work (especially for Bill), finding someone to watch the dogs when our current dogsitter has to leave, losing a week of transition time for Ruslan before school starts on July 9 and a week of maternity time to be with him once we're home, extending our childcare, paying for the additional time in country, dealing with homesickness, changing our flights, missing Mason's birthday and end of the year school events, etc. are all very tricky! Could definitely be worse, and we are grateful for the many blessings and the hard work our facilitator is doing. It's just a loooooong time to be away!
We were brave while the facilitator was here breaking the news, but we both just melted in tears when he left. Mason has been counting down the days and marking his calendar, so neither one of us is looking forward to breaking the news to him. It's hard with his birthday this month, his last soccer game, his first lost tooth, his end of the year school events including an award ceremony he will be recognized in, and at least one (sometimes both) of us will be missing most of these! And then for Ruslan, losing a week of transition time before school feels like a huge setback! This journey is emotional to say the least! We just keep trying to remind ourselves this will be in His time, and according to His perfect plan.
I know these all seem like silly things, and well meaning people tell us in six months from now it will all be a distant memory....and Mason will be fine....and it's worth it to bring Ruslan home....and all those things are very much true. But it doesn't make it any easier in the moment! We miss our son, the rest of our family, our friends, our jobs, etc. and being somewhere where you don't speak (or read, or write!) the language can be kind of isolating! Thankfully we have each other, and we've been grateful for lots of time together to connect with no child, no dogs, no work demands, no schedules to adhere to!
We are going to visit the church near the market tomorrow, so we are looking forward to that. It's definitely no Pastor Mike, and we KNOW it won't be the same as the sex sermon we're missing this weekend (those of you Hope attendees know what I'm talkin' about!) but at least it's church. And though we won't understand a word, I know we'll be filled and we're looking forward to worshipping with others and praising Him for all the blessings He has given. He has so clearly been an integral part of this journey. And at a time when emotions are high, we want to just be still, and know that he is God!
We are so thankful for the village of people at home, praying, encouraging, laughing and crying along with us, supporting, caring for our pets, welcoming our son in to their home as their own, mowing (and tilling, I might add!!!!), taking care of the school photos I forgot to send in, the bill payments that needed to go out, and so much more. We are humbled and grateful for the amazing way you have all rallied behind us, and most importantly behind this little boy. Seeing and spending time with Ruslan, there has been a definite confirmation that this is the path God would have us on. How amazing that in the process he brought many new relationships in to our lives, and some people that were already in our lives to the forefront.
We are so grateful that this is the child the Lord has chosen for us. Because he needs a hero. He needs a Saviour. He needs healing, hope and love. And so much more. And we won't be able to give him any of that, but through the strength of our God. And the awesome community of people who have shown our family....this boy...more love than he has ever known in his entire ten years of existence. I don't think I can adequately illustrate how your pennies, dimes and dollars....your prayers...everything...have made a lasting, lifelong impact on this child. And a tremendous kingdom impact in those who have watched this story unfold. And are now believing in a God they might have questioned before. Or are willing to step out in faith in some area of their life and be bold. Or are simply drawn closer to God, or willing to ask questions...or who knows what the eternal impact will be. All I know, is we are humbled to be a part of it.
This little boy is resilient (thanks for that word, Shelly!) He has endured more than I think I would be able to, truthfully. We spend mere hours in the orphanage each day, and we leave with heavy hearts. I can't imagine being confined there every day, all day, for ten years. He has been cast away, ridiculed, rejected, abused, isolated, and more. And yet he is thoughtful, funny and smart. He smiles the brightest smile, laughs the heartiest laugh, would give away his only crumb of bread, and has a heart as sweet as can be. And I just don't know how. I am so thankful for that preservation of his heart. For the fact that God was watching over him ten years ago when he was left behind by the very woman who gave him life. (Thank God she chose to give him life!) Throughout the first year of his life when he laid in that hospital alone, without anyone to visit him, love him, nurture him. Through three surgeries as a child, through two orphanage homes and a visit to the mental institution. Through traumas I can't even pretend to know the depth of. Right up through his trip to our home last summer. And every day since, keeping a kernel of hope alive in him, and a hedge of protection around him.
I suppose now is as good of a time as any to share the name we decided on for him. It is , on paper at least, Daniel Ruslan Kochies. But, we will definitely not be forcing that change, nor will we be addressing it right away! If he chooses to go by Ruslan for all of his days, that is fine with us! If he chooses to take on Daniel as his name, that is fine with us too. But after much thought, prayer and consideration we decided to give him a new first name, for many reasons, and Daniel seemed very fitting. I'll try to share why, but I am no theologian or Biblical expert...just some things that spoke to us from reading in and about Daniel. I've quoted some excerpts that really spoke to me as well.
"In Daniel 2:1-23, King Nebucchanezer had a God-given dream that shook him to his core. When God causes extreme things to happen, it is so He can act extremely. God sometimes allows things to happen in our lives that are completely out of our control, as it was to become for Daniel, so that God HAS to act! And then God, and only God, can get the glory." We feel very much that this extreme journey was nothing but God planting a seed in our hearts, and we definitely give ALL the glory to God. With him all things are possible. His presence and provision in this journey are evident beyond measure.
Daniel 2:18-19 "Then Daniel returned to his house and explained the matter to his friends..... He urged them to plead for mercy from the God of heaven concerning this mystery, so that he and his friends might not be executed with the rest of the wise men of Babylon. During the night the mystery was revealed to Daniel in a vision."
There is no doubt that we need prayer, we need each other, and we need to be praying for each other! It is so important to make sure you have people around you that you can ask to pray in times of trial, and praise along with you in the good times. Daniel did. And to make sure to take things to the Lord instead of stewing on them for a while! This was, and still is, a huge lesson for us. That we need to be comfortable asking for help...asking for prayer...and constantly surrendering to God and giving it all to Him.
Daniel 2:19-23 and Job 12:13-23 talk of the Lord knowing what lies in the darkness, and bringing shadows in to the light. What we would consider to be darkness is still light to the Lord. He makes beautiful things. And I know despite the dark days Ruslan has endured, there is much light ahead.
Daniel 3:19-29 King Nebuchadnezzar orders Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in to the blazing furnace. They are unscathed, except the ropes that bind them. Sometimes God uses trials to free us from the things that bind us. Sometimes we experience God the most in the midst of "fiery" ordeals. I pray that the ordeals Ruslan has endured will serve to reveal God's unfailing love and faithfulness for him, when he becomes aware of how the Lord worked in the hearts of so many to free him from what was binding him. Nebuchadnezzar got to see that with God, you can go through fire and not be burned. We can't ever underestimate God's desire to witness to others when we go through trials. I hope Ruslan will some day see that this trying time in his life is a part of him, but it does not define him. And who knows, it may equip him in some way to witness to others....what a testimony he will have.
And then of course there's the tale of Daniel and the Lion's den in Daniel 6. And the fact that God delivered Daniel from that fate. And He has been with Ruslan through every trial, dark time and pit that he has faced thus far. And he will deliver Ruslan from the lion's that threaten him during this healing journey as well!
No doubt the apostle Paul had this in mind when he wrote:
At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them. But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion’s mouth. (2 Tim 4:16-17)
This makes me think of Ruslan...because at first, no one was supporting him, and everyone had deserted him. And we pray there is peace in his mother's heart, and we try not to judge her. And when he was deserted, the Lord stood by his side...it is clear the Lord gave him strength, and his journey has certainly been an amazing testimony. And he is delivered- in to the loving arms of a family, and a future bright with hope. Our Daniel Ruslan.
No comments:
Post a Comment